iwritehistory

A New Blog for a New Year

2010-01-02T21:45:00.002-07:00

Well, it's that time. I've changed my blog title and address. I know you all must be wondering why... and will possibly lose sleep over this... and may never speak to me again—but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

I wanted my blogging to have a new identity and a new sense of purpose... plus I liked the name better. But all my old posts have been moved to the new blog. Just in case you have the urge to read some boy-hating words from my single days, some down with big brother rants, or you need to see pictures of what life in my world has looked like over the past while.

I will be writing every day this year. Each day I will write at least one interesting thing that happened that day. Why would I write one small thing every day? Because few exceptional things happen in my life, so I've decided to celebrate the ordinary.... every day!!

megsnbacon.blogspot.com

Good Idea. Bad Idea.

2009-12-20T23:19:00.002-07:00

Good Idea:

Making buttercream frosting to go with your sugar cookies

Bad Idea:

Putting 7 cups of granulated sugar in the recipe that calls for confectioner's sugar

A Cold Night and a Warm Heart

2009-12-16T09:57:00.003-07:00

Last night my husband and I were invited to see the lights at Temple Square with my sister and her family. Of course we couldn't resist an invitation to see the reactions of my sister's cute, little monkeys. They met at our house and waited patiently while I put on the layers of thermal, fleece, and cotton. Topped off with some synthetic goose down. The boys were so excited and kept asking when we were going to see baby Jesus.

We headed for the cars and the two year-old said to me, plain as day, "You guys going to follow us to the temple?" Off we went. We parked the car and got the kidlets piled into their plastic, Graco chariot. The boys looked so silly in their puffy, marshmallow coats, hats with ear flaps, and mittens that couldn't actually come down far enough on their wrist because of their coat sleeves. The two year-old look at me and said in his excited voice, "We're going to go in the TEMPLE." I was so sad to have to break the news that he couldn't actually go in the temple.

We walking around Temple Square and helped the boys reach all of the lights that they wanted to touch. They kept asking where baby Jesus was, which we were saving for the end. Finally, we began making our way to the nativity scene that lights up and has some narration and music that plays every few minutes. I was holding hands with the four year-old when we heard the music playing as we got closer to the nativity. He yelled, "Let's go see Jesus!" And he pulled me along even faster. It was at this point that I realized he might think that we were actually going to see the real baby Jesus. He kept pulling me and every now and then, he'd look up at me and ask, anxiously, "Where's Jesus!?" This pulled at my little heart strings and my eyes started to well up with tears. This little, innocent child and his brother don't know a lot of things yet in this life, but the all ready know the significance of Christ. He was so excited to see Jesus. That's all he really wanted to see the whole night. What a touching little moment. We have so much to learn from little kids. It's no wonder the scriptures urge us to be child like. I hope we can all find Jesus this Christmas season, whether it's on Temple Square or in our hearts.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A Presidential Slap in the Face

2009-12-14T13:18:00.004-07:00

In recent months I have become more involved in the happenings of federal government than usual. There are a few reasons for this change:

For the past few months (though they've felt like years), I have been working on a government textbook. I have come to understand so many interesting and useless bits of information about government. I might actually know more than I'd ever care to know.
I am supremely interested in the health care debates, as I am someone who is ever dependent on my health insurance. Probably much more so than most people my age.
And during mental breaks at work, I seem to find my way to the New York Times website.

Keeping up to date on political issues can be addicting and exhausting all at the same time.

So last night as my darling and I sat down to relax and watch the tube, you can image how intrigued I was to discover that the Oprah "Christmas at the Whitehouse" Special was being aired.

Oprah's tour/interview began in the oval office where president Obama presented his Christmas tree and shared thoughts on what he enjoys most about living in the Whitehouse, "The people's house," as he called it. (It's hardly the people's house, as few people get to enjoy it much more than during a quick tour.)

Next, Oprah met up with the First Lady, who was all but bedazzled. She wore giant diamond earrings and a large, pearl necklace that gathered to a diamond pendant. She did look lovely, but I couldn't get past her flashy accessories. She took Oprah on a tour of the Whitehouse to show her the many, many Christmas trees, garlands, and other LAVISH decorations. Now, don't get me wrong. I know it's tradition to decorate the Whitehouse in a beautiful fashion. But during a time of such economic crisis, don't you wonder if having personal decorators work on the place for FIVE straight days is a little less than necessary?!

I'm not naive enough to think that if the First Family took all the money that would have been used in decorating the Whitehouse and applied it to the federal deficit, that it would make any difference. BUT at a time like this, how can the First Family sleep at night knowing that our whole nation is suffering financially, many people are without jobs, homes, food, and other means of survival, yet they have DOZENS of Christmas trees, personal decorators, and a HUGE gingerbread Whitehouse created by any number of personal chefs?

As the interview went on, Barack and Michelle bantered about the cost and flashy-ness of Michelle's jewelry and her taste for fine things. When asked what would be different at the Whitehouse this year during Christmas season, Michelle responded, "We'll be having more parties." Then she went on to describe the 50,000 some odd guest list.

I am floored. And a little bit angry. During a time of financial crisis, when our national unemployment rate is at 10%, our government is participating in RECORD spending (which we will pay for), we're financing a decade-long war, and the average American is going without, the "most powerful" family in the world is flaunting their lavish life style in the faces of Americans. How do you think that makes us feel? The local food bank estimated that they would be empty by the end of the month. A national food drive campaign was organized to help the needy. Friends and family members are doing more this year for needy families than ever before... and the whitehouse is hosting more parties.

Shame on you.

During an opportunity to inspire the American public with a heart-warming Christmas message and examples of ways to give back to the country, the First Family failed. How different would our nation be if instead of seeing clips of bragging about gift-giving, and efforts to make the Whitehouse transformed into an elaborate Christmas village, clips were shown about things the First Family was doing to give back, ways they're simplifying their lifestyle during this time, or commitments they're making to help more people? Lead by example. The impact that the "most powerful" family could have had by doing something selfless and humble, something centered around integrity, during that special is immeasurable. Think of the trend that could be set by Obama to his many loyal followers if he chose to keep things simple this year. To save some money, give back, cancel hosting a party that will cost the people millions of dollars.

I guess the old adage applies to financial problems, too. "Out of sight, out of mind." Well, Obamas, I hope you have a great holiday living high on the hog this year, while us average Americans work our butts off to pay off the debt that you will leave us with for years to come. Happy holidays to you too.

It's Funny Because It's True

2009-12-10T12:16:00.003-07:00

Let me preface this by saying that I do NOT endorse anything affiliated with the Twilight series.

Anyone who has been in a single's ward anytime in the past 10 years can probably appreciate this movie... TOO FUNNY! Prepare to ROFL and stuff.

Twilight Years from Tom on Vimeo.

Don't Let Your Wives See This...

2009-12-09T16:56:00.002-07:00

... because then you're going to get an earful.

This morning I rolled (or fell, rather) out of bed. I trudged my way downstairs to eat some Cheerios. I took time to take in the scenery. The dishwasher was full of clean dishes. Some dishes sat in the sink with remnants of last night's pudding. And random pieces of mail and other paper items were scattered from here to there. So, of course, I walked past all of the scenery and made my way to the shower. After a nice, super long, super hot shower, I felt almost ready to face the world. I walked into the bedroom. The bed was made—blankets neatly folded at the foot of the bed. I walked to the kitchen—It was clean, and the dishes were being put away as I walked by. I took a few minutes to make myself somewhat presentable for work and walked downstairs to gather my things—My car had been started, scraped off, and was waiting for me.

Ahhhhh.... this is the life.

Now some people say, "Oh, you're newlyweds. This will wear-off soon."

Nope. I've known this man for 4 years, and this is how he's always been. As friends, we went with a group of people to stay at a cabin. Guess who was up before everyone else making breakfast for the group. Guess who stood out in the pouring rain to grill the chicken for everyone for dinner. As a friend, guess who started mine and other friends' cars for them so they'd heat up for a cold, winter drive. That's right, my husband. He's just that kind of guy. Always has been. Always will be. Hate me if you want. Or find one for yourself (unless, of course, you're married.)

How did I get so lucky?

Ch-ch-ch-Changes

2009-12-07T21:08:00.002-07:00

A few weeks into marriage and I'm noticing some big changes all ready. The biggest of which has been the switch from a "pre-marriage ward" (a.k.a. singles' ward) to a family (a.k.a. retirement ward). No, I'm not joking about the retirement. The boundaries of our current ward include a retirement community, a small neighborhood of condominiums, and a small set of townhomes.

So essentially, I will be going from this:

U32 Ward End of Year Slideshow - 2009 from Tanner Christensen on Vimeo.

To this:

Yikes.

A Time for Sharing

2009-12-03T15:42:00.002-07:00

So the husby and I are looking for some new traditions to start this holiday season. We have only thought of a few so far. Those include:

Exchanging new pajamas each Christmas Eve
Sleeping under the Christmas tree (he doesn't care so much for this one... especially since we have a Charlie Brown Christmas tree)
Making Dutch Babies Christmas morning (some family tradition from his father involving yummy pastries)

As you can see, our list is rather lacking.

What do you do?

What should we do?

I can't wait to hear your ideas!

May You Never Have to Buy Another Christmas Album

2009-12-02T17:17:00.010-07:00

Here it is... a masterpiece that's been years in the making: My Christmas playlist.

Enjoy!

I'd like to take this opportunity to cry.

2009-11-20T10:20:00.002-07:00

I'm sitting at my desk in my office, drinking Diet Coke, snacking on Sixlets (mostly just the orange ones) and Hot Tamales which I began eating at 9:00am, and listening to Jimmy Eat World's "Last Christmas" on repeat. My eyes are puffy from crying for almost 10 straight hours yesterday and I'm so tired.

Last night I had a dream that a gal pal of mine was over at my parent's house visiting with me and my mom who happened to be in just her underwear. We realized we'd left the front door open and a man named Paul Bunyan, who looked eerily similar to Santa Clause, slipped in the front door while his wife who was almost 7 feet tall like her husband waited on the porch. I refused to believe that he was Paul Bunyan and I ran upstairs to call 911 on my cell phone. After a few attempts, because I couldn't remember the number, I finally got through to the dispatcher— Donny Osmand. He told me to believe in this man; if he said he was Paul Bunyan, he probably was. Then he closed the conversation with an inspiring line that I don't remember exactly. It was something like, "Chase your dreams. Which I recognized in my dream as the title of his just-released biography. I hung up on Donny, angry. I marched downstairs to find Paul Bunyan had made friends with my family. I was angry and kicked him out. He then lifted our house off the ground and set it back down on its side to prove to me he was, indeed, Paul Bunyan. I felt horrible for not believing him and ran after him as he was leaving to beg his forgiveness... he immediately transformed into Santa Clause and told me to be a good girl this year.

That's about how my brain is functioning these days. I am a zombie. My whole life is changing. Everything I know and have known for years will be different. I am completely in love with T.M.I.G.T.M. and couldn't ever imagine being with anyone else or trying to live without him. But marriage is hard, and scary. I never wanted to be married until I met T.M.I.G.T.M. Never. This is a huge paradigm shift, and it came rather quickly. My logical brain isn't sure what to do with all this change and these emotions. It's really hard. And I cry a lot, which I never have before. I know how to be single, I'm good at it. I don't know how to be married— trying new things makes me uneasy. My brain is mush and I feel like I can't completely be my normal self until I've settled into this transition. I so badly want normal life. And normal dreams, for that matter.

Here's to the wedding being over and hoping for a speedy mental recovery from all of the change!

The First Real Date

2009-11-16T19:40:00.004-07:00

For those of you who have been following my story, I want to apologize for the delay and excite you for the next installment... about my first date with T.M.I.G.T.M. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you should probably call in sick to work and invest a few good hours in reading the following posts. Then we can talk.

The Meeting

The Friendship (Phase the First)

The Friendship (Phase the Second)

The Evolution

Also, if you're wondering what on earth T.M.I.G.T.M. stands for, I can clear that up as well:

The man I'm going to marry.

I'm avoiding using his name in an effort to preserve some privacy in my life. Not that sharing every intimate detail about my life on this public blog helps my case much. But it's like eating a slice of wheat bread for every five slices of white bread- it at least makes me feel like I'm trying.

And now, to begin today's story, "The First Real Date." May the spirit of Dean Martin's music assist me as I tell my story.

The night T.M.I.G.T.M. came to pick me up for our first date, I was so nervous. I had been all sorts of confused for so long about what I was feeling for him, though I knew I was feeling something. I was so excited to be going on a date, but was trying to remain level-headed in case it was just a friend date. I had been on one too many of those in my single lifetime. He picked me up and we went to dinner at a local hot spot, Mexican restaurant. I was a little apprehensive about chowing down on the chips and salsa like I really wanted to— I was nervous. I never got nervous around T.M.I.G.T.M.!! We had our usual pleasant conversations before and during dinner, but it just seemed so surreal that I was on a date with my friend of all these years. I wasn't sure where to place my thoughts and feelings. Then we went to his place where he said he had a surprise. My mind was racing. I was hoping that he wasn't going to do something over-ambitious like so many other boys had done in the past— something too big that assumes a relationship, when I wasn't sure what I was thinking/feeling. But I was also hoping that it was something telling; something to let me know he had interesting in dating me.

We walked into his back yard as he carried a number of pillows and blankets. My mind was everywhere from, "Geeze, this is awfully bold of him to do something involving pillows and blankets on our first date," to, "I hope whatever this is will give me an opportunity to be close to him and test the waters with flirting." He laid out the blankets and set the pillows down. He was grinning from ear to ear and kept checking his watch. He reassured me that it should be happening any time now. I half expected his roommates to crawl out of the bushes in costumes or something. But, alas, after a few minutes, I heard a loud boom that shook the earth and saw any number of colors bursting in the sky. He turned to me and said, "This is to make up for the fireworks we didn't get to watch together on the 4th of July."( In case you forgot, that was the night he left me to sit with another girl.)

We laid back to enjoy the show. I was careful to lay close to him, but not too close as to seem presumptuous. At one point he offered his shoulder for me to lay on. So I did, but kept my body at about a 45• angle away from his. I was not going to make a fool of myself if we were just friends! The show ended and we stayed out back to talk and check out the beautiful, clear night sky. Somehow we both ended up on our stomachs searching the sky for the little dipper, whose location we couldn't seem to agree on. He would lean in close to point out different constellations to me and I'd find myself wondering, "Is he going to kiss me?" But then he'd pull away and continue to talk... and I'd feel silly for wondering. I had decided after some time outside that it was a wonderful date, but that he was by no means going to kiss me that night. I was silly to think he might. It was, after all, the first official date he has asked me on for which I had consented to join him.

Then just a few moments later, as he pointed out another possible location for the little dipper, he leaned in close to show me, then lifted my chin and kissed me. That's right, we kissed on our first real date. And it was wonderful. But it was four years in the making, so I think it was justified. I couldn't believe that I was kissing my friend. It was strange and wonderful all at the same time. Later, T.M.I.G.T.M. would tell me that he was waiting for me to lean back and smack him, telling him that we were just friends! Now I kind of wish I would have.... :)

And that concludes my version of our first real date... or at least all what I'm going to share with you. Stay tuned for the next installment, "The Courtship (Shorter Than Most, But Long Over Due)."

Until next time, Interweb.

The More You Read, The More You Know... Sometimes.

2009-11-15T22:44:00.005-07:00

For some reason, I feel this need to try to go against the grain of what people would expect an "average" girl my age, in my circumstances to do. I don't know why. I don't know what I feel like I've had to prove.

The Harry Potter series hit its climax while I was in college. Though it's not a "girly" series, by any means, every girl I knew was knee deep in Potter hysteria. I refused to read it— until I taught elementary school. It was a survival skill I needed to remain hip with the kiddos. And I liked the series okay, especially the third book. But I won't admit that to many people.

Then there was the whole college scene of dating and every girl acting like she wanted only to meet boys, date, and find a boyfriend. I made sure I acted like I didn't care whether or not I dated, didn't care much about the boys I dated, and didn't hurt much when things ended badly— though I always felt more than I let on.

And so this instinct of mine, to defy what people would expect of me (though I don't always want to), has stuck with me over the years. And every once in a while, there is a trend that I'm truly, honestly, okay not following. One of which would be the Twilight craze. I love to read, almost as much as I love to eat Muddy Buddies, snuggle with my nieces and nephews, or write about my droning life events on here. But I simply cannot bring myself to read that series. After growing up on books like "Babysitter's Club," and "Sweet Valley High," I made a vow to myself to only read real, enriching literature after I was finally introduced to it in my high school years.

On my quest to become well-read with the classics, I was encouraged to read Orwell's "1984" by a number of people. I was told it would give me a lot to think about and that it was almost unheard of to not have read it, if I were to claim to be a fan of the classics. So, while in a book shop in Sienna this summer, I picked it up for the long, lonely journey home. (Which didn't end up being so lonely, thanks to a drunken Patrick Swayze look-alike in denim shorts and Dr. Martens boots. That's a story for another day.) Anyhow, I eventually read the book and eventually regretted it. It was a regurgitation of the many books written after it's kind. I should have re-read "Anthem" to get the same "Down with Big Brother" ideals in a much shorter page count, and with many fewer sexual references.

Since completing that book, I haven't had much time for reading... until this last week since I've been sick. I needed a light read. Something full of hope and big words on the page (I had a head ache). I picked up a book I'd purchased from the notorious book orders when I was a teacher and decided to give it a whirl. I knew the author's other books were about princesses and girls coming of age, but I needed something to read, and decided to tell no one I was reading this girly book. But I read it, in under a 12 hour period. Don't be too impressed, the print is quite large. It was written by a local author, Shannon Hale. And it was a well-written book loosely based on a Grimms fairy tale. It was absolutely wonderful. So much so that I publicly recommend it to you:

Book of a Thousand Days

And now, before I can bring myself to return to the world of Hawthorne, Orwell, Melville, and Thoreau, I return to my beloved copy of "Emma." Because it's okay to enjoy a girly book now and then... especially if it's written by an author acclaimed for her talents in capturing human emotions, the anguish of the clash of classes, and the essence of life in her time... and not some silly romance novel based on tension between demonic icons and frivolous girls with no backbones. (I know this, for I saw the first movie... as a favor to my best friend. For which she will be forever indebted to me).

Read on, Interweb. Read on.

May you find yourself engrossed in good literature. The kind that expands your mind, teaches you new things, and makes you a little more interesting. Because, hey, who wouldn't want to be a little more interesting?

I Have This Effect on People...

2009-11-11T15:35:00.003-07:00

And just when you think you've figured it out....

Which reminds of a similar incident in the past...

My New Favorite Song...

2009-11-11T13:06:00.000-07:00

My day just got a whole lot better

2009-11-03T11:33:00.003-07:00

What a crappy morning and day so far. I feel like my head is going to spin off and I have to much to do before the wedding and not enough time to do it.

BUT

Thank you Cadbury for making Christmas candies.

Thank you retail chains for stocking Christmas candies at a ridiculously early time.

Thank you Albertsons for keeping your shelves fully stocked... and for answering you phone and confirming that the shelves were stocked before I made my journey.

Thank you car for getting me to the store in a safe and timely manner.

Thank you taste buds for working so well and recognizing delicious and creamy things.

Thank you metabolism for burning through this entire bag of eggs quickly. (This won't actually happen... but a girl can dream....)

Good-Bye, Old Friends

2009-10-30T10:19:00.002-06:00

Today I say good-bye to a few friends that have meant a lot to me over the years. I have been very close to them and during almost all moments of my life have been inseparable.

Good-bye to the blue with yellow and pink stars, hot pink, days of the week-style, "Laughing Out Loud," boy-fit style, and my personal favorite, wide red and white stripes. You know who you are and what you've meant to me over the years.

If you are confused by this post, that's probably for the best. It's meant to be cryptic. If you understand this post, you, too, have made the change. I couldn't be more excited.

Oh, Now I'm Just Angry

2009-10-29T10:11:00.003-06:00

Apparently my last post was part of a trend in my blogging circle. Some friends of mine and I have been on a similar angry wave length within just a few short days of each other. If you're feeling angry and you need to laugh at someone else who is frustrated, please go here, or here.

I have just one more rant to add to my list of things I hate... just one more, I promise. Then I'll TRY my hardest to be un-grumpy. Though I make no promises.

Imagine that you don't feel so well. You're not dying or anything, but you certainly don't feel well. And maybe you haven't for a long time because your stupid so-called "doctor" let your little problem go unattended for so long that it escalated into a full-blown issue. (I'm using a lot of hyphens lately, aren't I? I apologize ahead of time if they start to get out of hand.)

So then you go see a new doctor who actually deserves his degree and his job, and who happens to have a personality, which doesn't hurt when you're working with people. Oh, and he's not creepy and doesn't have the molester vibe that the former doctor had. This new, smart doctor finds the issue and gives you lots of prescriptions to take to nip the issue in the bud (or is it butt?).

Anyhow, let's say you then take your prescriptions to be filled and when you pick them up the pharmacy tech says something to you along the lines of, "Did your doctor say anything to you about the price of the blah, blah, blah medicine?"

"No, why? How much is it?"

"Well, it looks like your insurance knocked $600 off the price, so you only have to pay about $370."

At this point you can't say what you're thinking or what you really want to say. You just politely say, "I won't be picking that prescription up today, I think I'll take my chances at dying. Thank you."

Would you be mad??!?!? I think you would. Because as I imagine this very thing happening to me, I get very angry! But I have a very vivid imagination.

On a completely unrelated note, I just wanted to say that I think our health care system is in tip-top shape. I'm couldn't be more pleased with the services offered to me and the fairness in pricing. [Insert sarcastic tone and eye roll.]

Things I'm Learning to Hate

2009-10-24T22:48:00.004-06:00

Having my picture taken all by myself (group photos are okay)

Photogenic people

Being the center of attention in a big group (wedding showers, etc.)

Eating KFC

Discovering spiders when my mom isn't there to kill it for me

Planning a wedding (yep, I still hate it)

Bad customer service (seriously, what is with people these days)

Feeling like you had a diva moment and not knowing how to apologize for it

Not being able to fall asleep at a decent hour and then being tired all the next day

Diet Coke (which happens to be a necessity for remaining awake at a desk job)

Under-qualified doctors who let problems go unattended to

Seeing labels like "Megan and I" under pictures— It's "Me and Megan"

Opening up Pandora to hear a long song list of artists I've never, ever heard of

Arriving on time to a 6:15 am doctor appointment and not being seen by the doctor for almost an hour

And I think that's about it for my complain-amony . My next post will be entitled "Things I'm Learning to LOVE," just for you!

Oh. Boy.

2009-10-22T23:18:00.003-06:00

You know those nights when you can't sleep... and you find yourself looking at an entire photo album of a friend of a very distant friend's on facebook... and you find yourself making judgement calls about the complete strangers in the album... Like, "Oh, she looks nice," "I'll bet those two are a couple," OR "I can't believe someone wore that outfit" (hey, I never claimed to be perfect)? Well, tonight, as I was doing just that, I came across a photo album of ridiculously beautiful girls in photos taken in various locations around Europe. And then I saw THIS caption under one of the photos:

"Chateau D'iff (spelled incorrectly)- the location of one of my favorite movies."

And then I had this imaginary conversation with this dolled-up girl that was full of frustration as I yelled in my head, "WHAT ABOUT THE BOOK? You know, the classic. The one with pages and words that you read... with your brain. Oh, you had no idea there was a wonderful, timeless, compelling book written before the movie? Because there was.... and it was written LONG before. Let me introduce you to what we simple folk like to call a 'library.' "

And then I decided I'm ornery and I should go to bed.

But seriously. You should read the book- if you haven't already.

And now you understand why...

2009-10-21T15:18:00.004-06:00

A few people have asked me why I'm not wearing my mother's wedding dress.

Behold the answer....

Survey Says....

2009-10-15T15:30:00.000-06:00

Well, that's what I'm hoping to find out!

I need YOUR help!

Calling all music lovers. I am developing a playlist of songs to play while guests arrive at and leave the wedding dinner, and a list of songs to play for dancing after dinner.

Here's the criteria: songs must have been written and recorded prior to 1970, and preferably around 1960. I need timeless, not over-played, non-cliché love songs (I know, I set the bar impossibly high sometimes). I would love your suggestions, particularly in the dancing genre (slow and fast).

A little photo to get you in the romanticy-song mood:

Kissy, kissy

I have $1500, therefore, I am a photographer.

2009-10-14T09:12:00.003-06:00

Just because you have a nice camera, doesn't mean you are a photographer.

[Disclaimer- this does not apply to people I know and associate with. Everyone I know is talented and wonderful. This is, of course, geared to the general public.]

I feel like I should just leave my post at that, but I still have lots of venting to do. This post has been months, possibly years, in the making.

Everyone is a photographer these days, have you noticed? This seems to be the case particularly in the state I live. There are a lot of stay at home moms (or wives) who start up little photography businesses. This has become a HUGE trend. Some are good. A few are great. Many are terrible. Buyers beware! Don't be fooled by the fact that a "photographer" has a fancy blog, or that they seem to have taken many, many pictures. You would be surprised how many terrible photographers stay busy with work. LOOK AT THE PICTURES. I encourage you to go with photographers who have actual websites. However, there are exceptions. For example, this friend of mine has a photo blog and takes wonderful pictures! Notice how clear the images are of peoples' faces and how she captures fun details of the events she photographs. LOOK AT THE PICTURES.

I have another friend who is a stay at home mom/photographer who uses a blog. LOOK AT THE PICTURES. You can see how sharp they are, how she focuses on the people in the pictures and not on the settings around them. The people should be the focal point.

These are pictures of your kids, your family, your life, your memories. You want them to be timeless. Ask yourself, would I like to look at these pictures in 50 years? 5 years? I am so done with the "cool locations," odd poses, saturated or desaturated editing. Pictures should look like the people in them.

Think of National Geographic photos. There are no people by train tracks in their photos, no funky coordinating outfits, no depressed-looking faces on people trying to look like models. Think of the timeless photos from TIME Magazine. The colors are natural, the locations are natural. Take pictures to record events. Hire people to take your pictures who will capture your moments the way that they happened. Because artsy-fartsy photos might seem like a good idea now, but on your 10th anniversary, you're going to wish you could go back in time and slap your photographer upside the head. Pictures capture memories of natural events in our lives. Please hire wisely.

Thank you.

[Steps off soap box]

A Page From the Doctor's Book

2009-10-12T16:50:00.006-06:00

Sometimes I can be really hard on myself for mistakes I make, flaws that I have, or problems that I'm dealing with. For some strange reason, this is a trait that women deal with to a greater degree than men. But today, TODAY I celebrate my imperfections!

Thank heavens for my crooked teeth, my thighs, my inability to make quick decisions, and my lack of concentration at work.

How boring would it be if my face were perfectly symmetrical, my body was flawless, my mind was always immediately made-up, and I worked non-stop for 8 hours a day without breaking my concentration?!? Everyone would expect me to look flawless all of the time— I would rely on fleeting looks and not on my brain. I wouldn't be able to take input from loved ones on important decisions. And I would be even more high-strung at work than I usually am! I would have nothing to work on, no room to improve, no building of my character to be had. How tragic! How sad for all the nearly perfect people in the world.

Today I make a big step in building my self worth. Today I celebrate my flaws (which are many... too many to list, in fact.) Today I don't care what anyone else thinks about me. Today I am happy and content. Today I am just me, and that's good enough.

"Today you are you!

That is truer than true!

There is no one alive...

...who is you-er than you!

Shout loud, “I am lucky

to be what I am!

Thank goodness I’m not

just a clam or a ham

Or a dusty old jar of

sour gooseberry jam!

I am what I am! That’s a

great thing to be!

If I say so myself,

HAPPY EVERYDAY TO ME!”

-Dr. Seuss

Stay Tuned...

2009-10-08T09:32:00.002-06:00

Dear Interweb,

I am sorry that I have neglected you as of late. And I'm sorry to leave you hanging without the rest of the details of my story I've been telling. Work and other things have consumed my every moment... including moments usually spent on blogging. A travesty, I know. But never fear, I will soon write the end of my story. Although, I must admit that finishing with, "... and the rest is history" did cross my mind.

Also, I heard the all too familiar sound of Canadian geese flying south for the winter this morning. Which can only mean one thing, that they were flying south for the winter. I hate winter. Especially in my state, blah. Here's to hoping for a swift and mild winter!

Talk to you soon,

Megan

The Evolution

2009-09-27T08:00:00.001-06:00

Post-Europe friendship was different than our friendship had ever been. T.M.I.G.T.M. and I spent more time on the phone 'til the wee hours than ever before. We were communicating more and more during the work day (don't turn me in). I began to feel as if my day wasn't complete unless I'd talked to T.M.I.G.T.M. Then there was my super fun birthday dinner with a big group of my friends. T.M.I.G.T.M. was out of town on a project for work and I was sad the whole time that he wasn't there. I went home and spent a couple hours chatting with him at the end of the night. We talked about the girl(s) he was dating. I was still genuinely interested. And we talked about the boy(s) I was dating. He was genuinely interested. But mostly we just talked about dating and how much easier it would be if the people we dated shared our views and opinions on dating. I remember getting off the phone and thinking to myself, "It's a shame T.M.I.G.T.M. and I could never work out."

A week or two later I realized that an event for which I had purchased tickets for months earlier, was the following weekend. T.M.I.G.T.M. helped me work up the courage to ask a boy to go with me... a boy that I didn't know well, but was a friendly acquaintance at church. I had thought the boy was a cutie for some time. I asked him to join me, but he informed me he was going to be out of town that weekend. I was almost relieved that the boy couldn't go. I approached T.M.I.G.T.M. after an Institute class and said (very smoothly, I'm sure), "Would you want to go with me? I really want to go with you. I should have asked you to begin with." At this point I was surprised by two things: the realization that I really only wanted to go with T.M.I.G.T.M., and the positive, excited response which he gave.

The day of the concert came and I was so excited. I made us some treats (yes, Muddy Buddies) and got ready to go. T.M.I.G.T.M. came to pick me up and we were off. We met my sister and her boys at the concert. We sat on the lawn and enjoyed a wonderful concert. I laughed so much that night. I was impressed as T.M.I.G.T.M. took my nephews at intermission to get them hot chocolate. It felt so natural and so fun that T.M.I.G.T.M. and I should be on a date. It didn't really hit me until the ride home when I was hit with the tireds quite like I've never experienced. I rested the long drive home while he took care of me and drove us home. I felt very content.

The next day, I still didn't think much of my feelings for T.M.I.G.T.M., but I knew that I wanted to see him. Just as I was thinking of him, he called my phone and made plans to go the fireworks with me that evening. He came by my house and I invited him to join my family (briefly) for some BBQ deliciousness. We left for the fireworks and met a large group of our friends. I laid our blanket out and struck up a conversation with some nearby friends. A few minutes later, I noticed that T.M.I.G.T.M. was not only gone, but seated by a cute girl (who I had been encouraging him to date). I felt weird. But I kept talking to avoid the feelings. Then the fireworks started and he came my way... just to get his jacket... then went back to sit by the cute girl. I wanted to cry and I didn't know why. I felt angry, sad, confused, all at the same time. Why did I care that my friend was sitting by a cute girl who I had been promoting to him? The fireworks ended and I gathered my things. T.M.I.G.T.M. came over to me to tell me how much fun he'd had sitting with the cute girl. My heart sank to the very bottom of my stomach. I was sure I was going to hurl. I immediately broke out in a nervous sweat. WHY DID I CARE? T.M.I.G.T.M. told me of the after party he was putting together, and I asked him if he minded taking me home first. I gave no explanation, just that I needed to go home. Then I immediately called my girl bff and freaked out!

The next week T.M.I.G.T.M. and his bff were gone for a few days hiking King's Peak. The morning he returned, he called me. He asked what I was doing that night, and I made up some options. I asked what he was doing. He replied with, "I'm going on a date." That response was followed by the longest awkward pause known to man. I took a second to gather my wits and remind myself that I was his friend. I then made a bold move. I asked him who his date was with, trying to sound as interested as I could. He replied, "With you."

The Friendship (Phase the Second)

2009-09-26T08:00:00.002-06:00

The comfort of the casual friendship between T.M.I.G.T.M. and myself lasted for sometime. I always thought highly of him, but didn't think much more. Because we'd both had our many chances at dating, and our fate was sealed as friendship, or so I thought....

Sometime in 2007, T.M.I.G.T.M. and I started to spend more time together. We relied less on the group for our friendship and a little more on one another. We were friends— really, really good friends. Our chats started to be a little more revealing of our inner psyche, and my fondness for T.M.I.G.T.M. as an independent friend entity grew more and more. I began to go to him more with my boy problems and he came to me more with his girl problems. He earned himself the position of my go-to male friend whenever I needed a boy's perspective on any and everything. T.M.I.G.T.M. dated and had serious relationships with a girl or two during this phase. All the while, I was by his side as his friend. I knew I would get a phone call from him as soon as something of consequence happened in the relationships. I was happy to be there for him, because I genuinely cared for him. At this point, not once did I feel bad about not being an interest in his life. My role as his friend and confidant was satisfying as I made life-changing discoveries in my own life and changed career paths. I was thankful for the stability of his friendship during a time of change and upheaval in my life.

Last summer T.M.I.G.T.M. highly recommended that I date his bff and old college roommate, which I did. He was a great guy. He was similar to T.M.I.G.T.M. in so many ways that I automatically felt comfortable around him. In fact, it sometimes felt like I was dating a slightly altered form of T.M.I.G.T.M. We had a fun time dating. We went on double dates with T.M.I.G.T.M. and his girlfriend. It was really fun. I loved having my boyfriend and my best friend at the same time.

Months flew by, and trouble arose in paradise. I discovered that the bff and I weren't a permanent match. I couldn't ever put my finger on it, there was nothing wrong with this boy, but it was wasn't clicking in my head. All the while T.M.I.G.T.M. maintained his close friendship with me and my ex-boyfriend (his bff).

Even more months flew by, again, and I dated various boys, while T.M.I.G.T.M. dated the same girl. Sometime after that, T.M.I.G.T.M. broke up with the afore mentioned girl. I never did hear the details of the breakup because I was out of town, and I'm okay with that. All I know is that I came home from wherever I was and T.M.I.G.T.M. was ready to jump back into the single scene, and I was right by his side to support him. We continued on with the usual frienshipping, all the while, progressively spending more and more time together without even realizing it. Neither of us had intentions of dating one another at this point. We simply knew that dating sucked and we thoroughly enjoyed spending time together.

I specifically remember one night, last spring, in an Institute class when I sat next to T.M.I.G.T.M. I was having a handful of small boy troubles that were piling up to be super annoying. I passed a note to T.M.I.G.T.M. saying that I was going to take a leave of absence from my dating life while the dust settled. And he innocently wrote back, "What dating life?" I, of course, was offended as he hurried to explain that he wasn't aware of any dating activity going on in my life. I reassured him that there was plenty of dating going on, but that I just chose not to share. And then I pouted for a few hours.

About a month later, T.M.I.G.T.M. and his bff were planning a road trip to which I was explicitly not invited. However each of my best friends were. In a rage, I confronted T.M.I.G.T.M. in the hall after church and told him how absurd I thought it was that I wasn't invited on my ex-boyfriend's trip. And he proceeded to tell me that I was being a brat. From that moment, I began to notice T.M.I.G.T.M. in a slightly different light. He stood up to me. He called me on the carpet. None of my guy friends did that to me. I got away with being a brat all the time. But not with T.M.I.G.T.M.; he knew me. He knew that I was a brat and needed to be told that in order to understand the situation. Although I couldn't show it, I respected him more for standing up to me.

He went on the trip... kept on dating various girls. I went to Europe for a while... dated various boys. I received one email from T.M.I.G.T.M. while I was away in Europe... to inform me that he was dating a cute girl that knew me. Somewhere deep down inside of me, something began to simmer.... and I went on with my life.

I returned from Europe late on a Saturday evening. Because of the jet lag, I never slept that night and was up bright and early for church the next morning. I walked into the first meeting to find one empty seat next to T.M.I.G.T.M. I was greeted with a surprised look, a warm smile, and a big hug. I'll never forget that hug... though I didn't realize the significance of the hug at the time. Somewhere deep down, the flame began to grow just a little bigger.

And our friendship picked up right where it left off a month prior.

The Friendship (Phase the First)

2009-09-25T08:00:00.000-06:00

My last installment of my love story, entitled, "The Meeting," recapped details about how the man I'm going to marry (T.M.I.G.T.M) and I met. Our story is, by no means, on its way to becoming the romance novel of the year. But it's our story and it's a good one. "The Meeting" ended with T.M.I.G.T.M asking me out a second time and being turned down (regretfully) because I was dating Butthead.

As the months went by and I continued to date Butthead, I didn't give much thought to T.M.I.G.T.M. I do know that I saw him every now and again at church and social functions. We small-talked here and there, nothing too memorable. I broke up with Butthead and was back in the single scene full-force. However, Butthead had taken a toll on my confidence and I was a bit skittish around boys. I actually started to become better friends with T.M.I.G.T.M.'s roommate and friend. Roommate and I enjoyed talking politics and opinions of higher ed policies. It was because of this friend that I actually started hanging out with T.M.I.G.T.M. A gal pal of mine would come along with myself and the two boys. The four of us hung out a number of times. We would go out to eat, sit around and chat, hit up parties, or play "The Game" (my made up trademark of a card game.)

As the group of us spent time together, I began to wonder if I had a crush on T.M.I.G.T.M. I wasn't too sure of myself at this time in my life. I wasn't sure if my interests were sincere, or if I was needy and emotional after the breakup. So I stuffed any thoughts of interest in T.M.I.G.T.M. into the back of my head. Plus T.M.I.G.T.M. seemed completely indifferent towards me. He was as nice to me as the next girl, but gave me no significant amount of attention or time. Over a number of months our friendship stayed neutral and somewhat removed. We called to notify one another of parties and other social events, but never to spend much time chatting or really getting to know each other. At one point in this phase, T.M.I.G.T.M. actually asked one of my good friends on a date. So I completely wrote him off.

It seemed as though I was content to be his not-too-close friend, and he was content to be mine. And we went on with our lives, dating various people, but not each other, always coming back to our friendship when the so-called relationships ended.

Everything I Need to Know About Dating I Learned from Bill Murray

2009-09-24T08:00:00.003-06:00

"There are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loved him."

- Bill Murray as Bob Wiley

What About Bob?

"There are two types of single women in this world: those who chase, and those who are chased. Not to be confused with chaste."

- Megan [last name] as Megan [same last name]

Real Life

As I talk to single friends and reflect on my single life (all of a few weeks ago), I gather more and more evidence to support my theory on the two types of women.

I know, I know... I should stop giving my two cents about dating and move on to opinions on curtains and organizing closets. What can I say? Old habits die hard. Here's the thing, boys are attuned to telling the difference between these types of girls. They can see right through you! No amount of fake confidence can cover the fact that you are chasing a boy.

I hate to sound all June Cleaver, but by nature, men are hunters. Girls, let them hunt you. And by hunt, I mean call, date, love. Let the boy ask for your number, let HIM ask YOU out, let him follow up after the first date, let him kiss you, let him call and make future plans— Let him get the ball rolling. [There are a few exceptions to these guidelines... very few.] By taking on his role, you are emasculating him and you have become the easy kill. You are no prize to be won or fought for. There is no sense of pride and accomplishment in dating you. You are easy and disposable. He will date you until something better comes along and you will be crushed. And you won't get it. And you'll tell everyone what a jerk he is. But you, yes you, caused this problem by deciding to go against the laws of nature. It's okay to show interest in a boy. By all means, go talk to him at a party, at church, at the grocery store. Toss your hair, flirt with him... if he's shy, throw him a bone and give him your number (if you must.) But then walk away. Think of him no more. IF he's interested he will act. If he's not interested, he won't. And no amount of texts, social invitations, or touching his arm will change his mind. He either likes you or he doesn't. If he doesn't, swallow the difficult pill and move on to the next...

... the next one who will chase you! Be yourself. Be charming. Be attractive. Above all, be confident. There is not a darn thing wrong with you. Don't let that last boy take the wind out of your sails. There are a million factors involved in determining chemistry. It could have been something as simple as the fact that your perfume triggered bad memories of an mean, old neighbor in his subconscious memory. YOU are not the problem. It was just bad luck, and life. Pick a new interest. Be honest with yourself and try to pick one that is similar to you or one that is already noticing you. If nothing else, have interest in him simply for the sake of having interest in someone. The very worst thing that could happen would be that you might date him and find out you like him, or you date him and find out you don't. Show interest in the boy. Be intriguing. Be smart, funny, and HAPPY around him so that each time you walk away from a conversation with him he is left thinking, "What is it about her? I can't wait to talk to her again." Nobody likes a Debbie Downer... not the clerk at the grocery store, not your co-workers, and certainly not the boy you have interest in. If you're not happy or confident, fake it until you make it. You will be single as long as you are unhappy and lack confidence. When you gain that confidence and slap that smile on your face, he will chase you. And so will others. There is nothing more attractive to a boy than a woman with confidence. Ask yourself this question: If you were a boy, would you want to date you? Would you have fun on a date with you? When you can answer yes to both of those questions, you will be chased, and not the chaser.

Until next time...

Showered With Gifts... And Attention

2009-09-23T10:49:00.005-06:00

Last night was my very first bridal shower. Three of my very best friends threw this party for me. I call it a party because we laughed the whole time and ate lots and lots of delicious sweets! I have always dreaded any kind of shower (except the kind that keeps you clean and covers the bathroom mirrors with steam)... even my own bridal showers. But this was SO FUN!

I have to admit, though, that I think this cultural tradition of ours is very, very odd. First of all, after mingling a bit and eating some goodies, everyone sat down in a circle and stared at me. I felt a little like a circus monkey or at the very least a winter window display at Macy's. I had an almost completely captive audience of good friends who suddenly acted as though they were hearing me speak for the very first time. I like attention as much as the next gal, but not of this magnitude. Then my cute friends who threw the shower shared a funny video of my fiancé answering questions... which lightened the mood and made us all laugh really hard. (Don't tell him, it'll go right to his head.)

THEN the strangest thing happened... everyone started handing me gifts, for no reason other than my pending nuptials! I felt so silly. I should have accomplished something or won an award to merit that kind of attention and those kinds of gifts. Even today, I feel a little silly and spoiled. Perhaps I'll go do something big and noble today, so I feel like I've earned all the doting. Then again, I'm sick, AND pretty busy today... so maybe tomorrow... or the next day....

I forgot to take pictures until almost all the guests were gone. Luckily, I got some of my BFFs. The others are just going to have to recreate the night so we can get proof that they were there.

Some of my best friends...

Oh, the memories we share!

When you're as cool as Michelle, you carry a film camera at all times.

This little stud had all the guest eating out of the palm of his hand...

or was it the other way around?

And our little night owl stayed up later than she has in years...

that's how much she loves me! ;)

Thanks for the wonderful evening, friend-Os!

Cloudy With a Chance of Me Seeing that Movie Again

2009-09-21T14:07:00.004-06:00

Last weekend, I went with my entire family to see, "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs." Since there are so many wee ones in my family, I've accepted the fact that if ever we head to the theaters, we are going to see a silly, mildly entertaining kids' show. However, I am pleased to announce that I was pleasantly surprised by this movie! It delivered the perfect balance of silliness and action sequences for kids, and witty, not so obvious humorous elements for adults. I laughed— a whole lot. I was almost embarrassed at how much I laughed. Maybe it's my love for food and giant babies... I don't know. But I recommend this movie to YOU. And the good news is that it beat out, "The Informant" by almost tripling its revenue. Maybe America does still have morals, after all...

Of course, seeing this movie only made me EVEN MORE excited (if that's at all possible) for the upcoming release of another children's book-based movie! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!

In other news, I am home from work, sick in bed. I sure love those little kidlets in my life... even when they carry communicable diseases. My immune system was most likely weakened by my weekend menu.

Saturday

Breakfast: Ben's Cookies

Lunch: Chadders

Dinner: Movie Theater popcorn and Little Caesar's Pizza

[Side note: This was my wedding dress shopping day. Maybe not the best idea I've ever had.]

Sunday

Lunch: Leftover Pizza

Dinner: Muddy Buddies and Turkey Steak

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

2009-09-20T22:15:00.002-06:00

[Awaiting results of pending couch purchase.]

The Meeting

2009-09-15T10:54:00.004-06:00

Many people ask you how you met your fiancé once they hear you're engaged. I'm not sure if it's something they really care to know, or just one of those things you ask as as a formality. At any rate, here's the story... according to me:

It was a dark, cold, stormy night... Okay, that's not completely true. But it very well could have been because it was December, almost 4 years ago in 2005. I had graduated from WSU the spring prior and was almost half way through my first year of teaching 3rd grade. One weekend night in earlyish December, a couple gal pals and I decided to go to a holiday party to meet some cute, new single faces of the new singles ward of which we were attending. I was 22, in over my head at work, and not loving the idea of introducing myself into yet another "meat market" to be on display as one of the "new girls" in the ward. As soon as we arrived at the party, I found a nice spot of carpet where I could sit and be anti-social. A few boys who I had previously met stopped by my corner to say hello. I very nicely blew them off and continued to groom my section of the carpet with my hands.

Eventually, two nice-looking, friendly young men came over to join me on the carpet. It was obvious that they were good friends, and that they weren't going to just say hi and let me blow them off. They were a welcomed change of pace. One of the boys faded out of the conversation, and the boy who would eventually be my fiancé stuck around on the carpet for a good amount of silly, pointless, fun conversation. I don't remember much of the conversation other than the fact that he made me guess his last name, which I thought was ridiculous and hilarious, all at the same time. I left the party having met some nice people and didn't think any more about any of the encounters from that night.

A week or two later, I got a phone call from the boy who made me guess his last name. He confessed that he had asked my friend for my number and proceeded to ask me out on a date. I don't remember why or for what reason... but I was "busy" the night for which he requested my company. A month or two went by. I would see this boy at church, say hello and have some small talk here and there. One day after church, this same boy approached me and asked for my number, after he admitted he deleted it after the first attempt. This time I declined him again... because I was dating someone (who turned out to be a total butt head, by the way.) I remember feeling disappointed. It was a "gut" feeling. I was really surprised at how disappointed I was to not be able to go out with him— especially because I was dating a "great" guy and this boy wasn't a boy that I would have consciously picked out at that time in my life. I can still remember, today, that sick, disappointed feeling... and then blowing it off.

And over the course of the next almost 4 years, this boy and I became great friends. He wrote me off as a possibility and I figured I'd blown my chances with him. This allowed us to get to know each other without any pretenses about dating. And what a great blessing that has been to our relationship... to really know each other at our best and at our worst, before we ever started dating.

This concludes my version of "The Meeting." Please stay tuned for future installments of the story of how two friends fell in love.

Over the top?

2009-09-11T15:26:00.002-06:00

All this frilly wedding planning stuff has got me thinking...

So I added a background to my blog. I think it's cute, but I feel kind of claustrophobic. It might just need some getting used to, or it might just drive me crazy. How do so many of you change up your backgrounds all the time? I hate change.

Look at me... growing up so fast and stuff.

A penny for your thoughts

2009-09-10T10:46:00.004-06:00

I have been back and forth between wedding colors, and THIS is what I think I've come up with. The only problem is, will I be able to find flowers, ties, and other clothing items in a rust color. Thoughts?

My other option was going to be plum and dark chocolate. I think I might be starting to like that idea more and more....

Bow- WOW

2009-09-09T16:35:00.003-06:00

One of my best friends in the whole world is disgustingly talented. She makes and sells hair bows and head bands for little girls. You can check out the goods on her blog. I tell ya, it's good to know talented people; my future daughters will have something feminine to adorn their possibly over-sized, bald heads.

Here is a sneak peak of what she makes:

SO CUTE, I KNOW!

Why I'm so glad I'm not longer meeting men...

2009-09-04T10:27:00.003-06:00

And just in case you're thinking, "This can't be real." It more certainly is. Ask any single woman, and she can tell you a similar story... or two... or three....

Thanks, Janis, for passing this along.

Drum Roll Please....

2009-09-02T23:39:00.004-06:00

For those of you who don't already know, THIS is who I am marrying:

November 21, in the Salt Lake temple

We have been good friends for almost four years. How (you might ask) do two good friends end up falling in love and getting married? Well, the answer is simple. And I will tell you... another day. I don't have time to get into the details right now, so stay tuned!

The Wedding vs. The Marriage

2009-09-01T12:26:00.004-06:00

I want to be married to Dan— a lot. I don't want to plan a wedding. It's only been a week or so into the planning and I want to wash my hands of it and just twinkle into married life. I have never thought about a wedding, I'm just not one of those girls.

Apparently I have to have a wedding in order to be married. Would somebody please plan my wedding for me? Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top!

Something New to Blog About...

2009-08-31T23:02:00.003-06:00

For the past couple of years, I have been blogging about a lot of things: vacations, family, work, memories, but mostly dating. This blog has served as an outlet for each and every dating frustration of mine and of others. Let me take a moment to thank those who have endured my many dating-centered posts and especially those who left comments of empathy. And I do mean empathy. Dating is really difficult, and I think it's supposed to be that way. As my dad has always reminded me, nothing worth doing is easy. And to this phrase, dating has stayed true. But every once-on-a-while something good happens in dating to remind you why you're doing it in the first place. It isn't because you don't know anything different, it's because you want to find someone you love who loves you back. And that's not an unworthy goal— it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's easy to get lost in the dark abyss of first dates, dead-end relationships, and awkward break-ups and to forget to enjoy dating and to enjoy the search for someone to love.

[cue "Somebody to Love" by Queen]

I claim to be no expert on dating. I developed a talent of flying by the seat of my pants in dating over the years. Worked for me, but not the best option for everyone. However, I am please to announce that in addition to dating, I will now have a new topic of which to blog.... MARRIAGE! I'm engaged and I couldn't be happier about it. I will have all sorts of new adventures to post and new stories to tell.... and new insights on relationships. And for those of you who fear losing the enjoyment of my single life stories, never fear. I have kept years of journals and notes for just this purpose, entertaining you.

I have intentions of posting more details about the exciting news, but I can hardly keep my eyes open. So, stay tuned for juicy details of how two best friends fell in love (but not too mushy, 'cuz I'm just not that girl).

Photo- This

2009-08-24T15:34:00.002-06:00

I have never been one to endorse businesses and such on here... BUT....

Check this out— A cute friend of mine from high school has a photography business. And it's well worth checking out. Visit here photoblog HERE to see her work. Her prices are reasonable and her pictures are absolutely wonderful! She hasn't been doing it long, but she's obviously a natural.

Check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Shoe Fly, Shoe

2009-08-20T16:45:00.006-06:00

I have a problem. A real problem. And I think I might need help.

I have probably over 50 pairs of shoes. Really. And I only wear 4–5 of those pairs. The worst part is that I buy new ones to replace the worn, tattered, old pairs... and I still wear the old shoes. I have some sick emotional attachment to them.

For example, about two weeks ago, I bought a new pair of brown flip flops with some flowery-looking detail to replace these.

[insert picture of seven year-old brown leather flip flops with a flower print and worn foot marks]

I bought these on clearance when I was nineteen. Nineteen! They are obviously worn. If I don't hold my foot completely still in a certain position, you can see really stupid worn foot marks. However, these here shoes have been to Hawaii and on multiple trips to the California coast with me. Too many memories...

I have purchased a half dozen pairs of black flip flips over the course of the past few years. Yet, somehow, I still wear these.

[insert picture of seven-year old black flip flips with tearing straps and a chunk missing from one shoe]

I was given these for free when I worked at American Eagle... in 2002! They were also in Hawaii. And Island Park, Jackson Hole, St. George, California, Nevada, etc., etc. I can feel a permanent imprint of my foot when I slip them on my feet. I can also feel the ground when I walk in them. The straps are tearing from the shoe, and there is a chunk missing from the side of the left flop where a friend's dog took a bite out of crime... or out of my shoe. Not to mention, they're made of a spongey material and, well, they absorb things. You catch my drift. Yet I love them! And I wear them everywhere.

Then there was my other favorite pair of black flip flops that I only enjoyed for a short season.

[insert picture of moderately appealing black Roxy flip flops with pink hibiscus flowers on the heel]

They were well on their way to becoming the replacement of the afore mentioned black flops. I was just learning to love them, and was truly becoming attached to them, when they were violently (I can only assume, since I didn't actually see it happen) torn from the side pocket of my backpack in Europe this summer. Oh, if shoes could talk.....

THEN, there's these guys...

[insert picture of super cute brown hybrid trail shoes with pink detail]

Let's just say that this pair and I did NOT get along. And they met their fate in Spain, where I purposely left them to fend for themselves in the Madrid airport.... after spending a hundred dollars on them and only knowing them for 3 weeks. Hey, we all make mistakes.

Some people have emotional attachments to people, books, TV shows, friends, food. I have an emotional attachment to shoes— really old, worn shoes. And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

[images to come]

Don't Try This at Home... Actually, Do..

2009-08-18T16:13:00.004-06:00

I don't have a lot of time to write. But I just wanted to leave a bit of dating advice on my blog... because it's been far too long since I've done so. And I'm sure you're all lost and hopeless without it, eh.

My advice for you today would be this:

1) If you have a best friend of the opposite gender, try dating them. Because it happens to be lots and lots of fun... or so I've heard. If you already know you like being around them, you have things in common, you know how to communicate (otherwise you wouldn't be friends), you are attracted to them to some degree (otherwise you wouldn't be friends), and you're both single (otherwise you wouldn't be best friends), then you should totally date. Just give it a whirl. What have you got to lose? If you're worried about ruining the friendship, don't. You have to know that someday you won't be able to be close friends with them when/if you marry someone else.... so.... yeah, either way there's a risk of losing the friendship. Plus, chances are, if he's sticking around as your friend for a long time, he's probably into you (to some degree). Trust me. (wink, wink)

But PLEASE don't say anything to him about your plan to date him. This has been proven to fail. Also, pray that he doesn't do the same. Let it happen naturally, but help it along. Start doing little things to shift the direction in which your friend*ship* is headed. Spend more time, be more sincere, more open, and more attractive, if you can help it.

Who knows what will happen...

2) It is now widely acceptable in the grammar community to begin sentences with conjunctions. So that's my second piece of advice. Begin some sentences with conjunctions and enjoy the freedom of knowing it's okay. Go on now, give it a whirl. You can thank me later.

Is it October 16th yet?

2009-08-10T15:42:00.005-06:00

I have concluded that it's best not to post anything when I'm sleep-deprived and stressed. Please stay tuned for further rational postings to be done when I've had more sleep and I'm not stressed. Who knows when that will be . . .

Is it October 16th yet??? [How much is too much to pay for a T-shirt, including shipping?]

Danger is My Middle Name

2009-08-04T12:05:00.002-06:00

So I was pulled over last Thursday, for the sixth time. How many tickets do I have, one might ask? The answer is complex, because I don't believe ZERO qualifies as an actual whole number. That's right, no tickets. Now, just to be fair, I should admit that I did have a ticket on my record at one time. It's been clear for some time now. The dialogue from the most recent run-in with the law went a little something like this:

Scene One: At a local Chevron about 1 mile away from place of residence and work. Parking lot and pumps are completely filled with cars of neighbors and old acquaintances. Suspect car has just entered the last empty parking stall and police car has torn into the parking lot with lights on and short siren noise. Police can remains parked behind suspect's car, lights on.

me: Hello

him: Did you know your car's registration is expired?

me: [small gasp] I had no idea. Is it really?

him: Yes. In fact, it has been for over two months.

me: [cheeks flush with embarrassment] I had no idea. I didn't get anything in the mail. I'm sorry.

him: May I see your driver's license and proof of insurance.

me: [hand him the requested items]

him: [returns to car]

[Moments later, the officer returns...]

him: Did you also know that your driver's license is expired?

me: I totally forgot.

him: Yeah, it's been expired for three months.

me: I'm sorry. I've just been so busy lately and part of that time I was out of the country.

him: While you were gone, did you have someone getting your mail?

me: Yes, my parents.

him: Hmm... I see that you have no record so I'm just going to give you a stern warning on the conditions that you go directly to the DMV to get this taken care of.

me: Okay, I will. I'm so sorry. Thanks so much. Have a nice day. [Thinking, "Yeah, right. Like I have time to go to the DMV. Little does he know my oil hasn't been changed for 1,000 miles over the suggested mileage."]

him: [walks away, expressionless]

Morale of the story: Be honest, play dumb (or in my case, be dumb), admit your wrong-doing, and you'll drive away with a clean record. This seems to be the pattern I've experienced through my many run-ins with the law. That's right... I'm dangerous like that. Look out world, this girl drives with an expired license... unregistered. [Insert mental image of Lloyd Christmas at the phone booth in Aspen giving one deep "she's unlisted" breath.]

The Perfect Storm

2009-08-03T21:26:00.004-06:00

I have often joked that I'm a lot like a baby. It's pretty simple to keep me happy: I need to be fed often, well-rested, and have someone pay attention to me when I do something cute or funny. If one of these needs is not met, I get grumpy. If all three of these needs aren't met, I become a completely different person... hardly a person at all, actually. More like a bear.

Today just happened to be one of those days; I was sleep deprived, behind on a meal or two, and neglected and left at a computer to work all day. On top of that, add the fact that it was a Monday, a bad hair day, an impossible deadline at work was made even more impossible, it was almost 300º outside, I spent a good amount of time on the phone with and waiting at the DMV, and I couldn't find an outfit to fit the mood today. This, my friends, was the perfect storm.

Before you go thinking I'm one of those temperamental females who gets set-off easily with one little "bad day," let me give you some background info. Work has been insanely overwhelming lately. Like any other "retail" business, we have made many adjustments to soften the blows of the weak economy. Many of these adjustments included a loss of staff... really great staff. Not only are we short-handed, but we still have the same demands to meet with a skeletal crew of workers. I love my job. A lot. There isn't a day that I wake up and dread going to work. I realize that for this, I am luckier than the majority of the workforce. Unfortunately, however, the current demands at my job can be wearing to a worker who struggles with perfectionism and self-criticalness (I enjoy coining new words whenever I get the chance). So when the crap hit the fan with the deadlines at work today, I think I felt something in the back of my brain actually explode. Soon after that, I realized I was no longer productive trying to force myself to edit. I left work a bit early to head to the DMV and register my car... nearly three months late (that's a story for another day). After the run-around there, I gathered some items and headed to my church activity, of which I was in-charge. I got that rolling, head still spinning, and left early to do some "work." I had to stop off at the local Target to get one thing. They didn't have the one thing... but five pairs of shoes later, I was on my way home, in a slightly better mood (shoes: the all-American cure-all.)

On the drive home, while sipping my Coke slurpee, I heard something on the radio that made me laugh for the first time today: "Mr. football stadium wedding proposal guy." Although I don't condone drinking, I love a good Budweiser commercial as much as the next guy. Plus, it's been far too long since I've heard a new commercial from this campaign. Bravo, Budweiser. You may be slowly leading the next generation down a slow and painful path to a wasted life, but you've done something right: you broke my grumpy gus mood. And that's why I'm writing this post, and just how brain-dead I am... I'm encouraging you to search the corridors of this, the interweb, to find that commercial. Because I'll be darned if it doesn't make you laugh.

Good night, and good luck.

Can't Trust That Day

2009-08-03T09:16:00.002-06:00

I've come down with a horrible case of the Mondays. I think if I were to go to a doctor, his/her remedy would go something like this:

"Pony tail, Beatles T-shirt, Hershey's Symphony bar (with almonds and toffee), flip flops, delicious left overs for lunch, and a whole lot of Rolling Stones on the ipod. Take two Advil, sleep all day, and call me in the morning."

Happy Monday!

Summing up some summer

2009-08-02T14:55:00.004-06:00

I'm currently sitting at my kitchen table, trying everything I can to avoid doing more editing. As I was sitting here, pa rousing some blogs (non-productively), I heard some music begin from a spare room at my house. I listen closely and realized it was a lullaby CD that is kept in the CD player at all times to aid with naps for the kidlets to whom I'm related. How did this lullaby music suddenly turn itself on? I don't have the answer to that. But I do know that it's beckoning me to take a nap. I don't usually believe in signs... but this one is just so clear.

I have been tired a lot lately, for good reason. It's summer, and there are a lot of fun things going on in my life as of late. Such as:

Coke slurpees

Mozart

Flowers

Mendelssohn

Deer Valley

late night convertible drives

Robert Redford (indirectly)

Electric harp

Miniature golfing

Moonlight bike ride

swimming, swimming, swimming

yoga

Tchaikovsky

Burgers

Friends

Burgers with friends

Run-ins with the law

Dinosaurs

Muddy Buddies

Star Wars

Weber River

Backroads and parkways on my bike

Deer with HUGE antlers

Cannons

Editing, writing, standards, assessments....

Here's to hoping for an even more eventful August!

All in a day's work...

2009-07-29T19:10:00.002-06:00

One of my good friends at work left our company today to go back to teaching [gasp!] I am so sad about her leaving that I have decided to compose a post in her honor. It's kind of like a Eulogy, if you will... only not as depressing.

["I'm a you-goo-guh-lizer."— Name that movie! ]

Nat, remember that time we made french toast in our office for French Toast Friday?

And how we teased Charlene for cutting her french toast up

like a mother does for their toddler?

What about the many naps we took at our desks?

Or the few times we actually sat on our "fitness orbs?"

Like this time you made me sit on yours because it matched my cardigan so well?

Oh, and our monthly-themed whiteboard?

(Our drawing skills were really starting to come along...)

How about the time we made everyone in our office create a

Valentine's Day box and pass out Valentine's cards to each other? . . .

.... And I accidentally forgot to make one and improvised with a gift bag?

Or the time we had comfy-clothes day...

... combined with banana pancake day...

... and I kind of forgot to wear my pjs.

And you griddled up the best banana pancakes I've ever had

(also the only banana pancakes I've ever had)?

Yeah, I remember, too. Those were the days....

We will miss you! Good luck with the kidlets!

For Lack of a Better Post...

2009-07-29T00:39:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I experience a sort of writer's block in blogging. When this happens I usually just post something completely random to get the creative juices flowing again. (Not that I would presume to call myself creative. But you know what I mean.)

I like to to eat Swedish Fish as much as the next guy/gal. I have eaten them for years. But it wasn't until just recently that I made an earth-shattering discovery about this candy that has forever changed the way I feel about the fish of Swede.

No, it's not that they're surprisingly high in calories. (I only pretend to count calories. I see other people do it so often that I pretend to care and check labels so I can kick it.) It's the fact that when eating Swedish Fish, you never completely chew them! It's as if you just chew them for as long as your jaw can take it, then make a conscious decision: "Well, I've been chewing for some time now. I guess I'll give it a swallow and see what happens." This must wreak havoc on our digestive systems! But I'll steer away from all topics digestive.

Then there's the remnants-o-fish that linger in your teeth throughout the remainder of the day. Some people may look at this as a perk, but I find it annoying.

And finally, there's the fact that this same problem, not knowing when to swallow, also applies to one of my most favorite candies... Tootsie Rolls! How can I go on enjoying these candies when I'm no longer ignorant about their consistency and potential digestive problems??

Then there's The Bachelorette.....

I have received some interesting feedback on facebook regarding the fact that I've never seen an episode. And here are the reasons why:

1. I never have time to watch TV. If I do, it's to catch a few minutes of the history channel while I eat something.

2. What woman in their right mind wants to watch another unhumanly-beautiful woman get swooned over by a number of ridiculously attractive single men? Really though. :)

3. True love doesn't develop in front of cameras, in a restricted amount of time, with makeup artists, stylists, and producers on hand. Real love happens in real life.

4. I don't like shows that fill mine and other girls' minds full of fanciful ideas that will inevitably lead to our making fools of ourselves in dating with unrealistic, media-based ideals.

However, I do understand the need for people to have an "escape" and simply be entertained by TV shows. And if that's the purpose The Bachelorette serves, so be it. Just don't talk about it around me.

Smart Boys, Dumb Decisions

2009-07-22T16:47:00.008-06:00

Prepare yourself for my unfiltered, uninhibited, tell-it-like-it-is-ness.

Question: Why do smart boys like dumb girls?

Answer: Because they're hot

Conclusion: Maybe the smart boys aren't as smart as we thought they were after all.

I wrote a post along these same lines some time before [Lest we forget, Miss South Carolina.] I just seem to see the pattern more and more with people I know as time goes by. It's almost as if boys get dumber and dumber. I love you boys to pieces. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that I would not be here today to write this if it weren't for your gender. But, please, I beg of you, give me some reason to believe that less than 90% of you are complete idiots. If I have to be your go-to gal friend on dating issues, please make the issues something like, "She's smarter than me," "She's read books I've never read before," "She knows how to conjugate verbs like it's nobody's business!" or "She has more useful talent in one finger than I do in my whole being." Because you should feel like this about the girls you date, even if it's not the absolute truth... you should at least think they're wonderfully talented and intelligent. We all know the truth about dating is that the more you get to know someone and the more comfortable you get around them, the more they start to become a real, normal, flawed person. Why then wouldn't you want to start with a girl that's well above your standards? That way, when she starts to come down, she can't go too far down... at least she'll be within reaching distance of the bar you've set.

Looks are fleeting. Everyone looks horrible in the mornings or while puking up their dinner. Personalities are reliable and redeeming. Brains are intriguing. Hopefully you plan to do more than stare at the person you eventually end up with.

You date to find someone to marry. You marry the type of people you date. Choose your dates wisely, please. And if you don't, I don't want to hear about it.

Thank you and goodnight.

I think I'm in love.

2009-07-16T18:18:00.006-06:00

I have recently been reunited with an old fling... AND I think I'm in love.

... thought you should be the first to know.

[Note: That is not a boy in the picture. That is me with helmet hair.]

101 Things for My 101st Post

2009-07-10T11:39:00.012-06:00

In honor of my 101st post, I have decided to share my 101 list. These are 101 things that I would like to accomplish. We did this as an exercise for work a while ago, and my boss said that they don't all have to be realistic... so NO TEASING! (That's right, I just yelled at you.) I'm sharing my dreams with you. I kind of feel like I just invited you to sift through my underwear drawer. For the record, they're green polka dots today.

Oh, and these are not written in complete sentences, so just deal with it and try not to judge me.

1. Master's Degree

2. Law Degree

3. Doctorate Degree

4. Visit every continent

5. Learn the cello

6. Dance in the nutcracker

7. Live in a home on the coast of the PNW

8. Get on an 8 hour/night sleep schedule

9. Meet Abraham Lincoln

10. Play the organ for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

11. Own a silver 1967 Corvette

12. Help Norm rebuild a 30s hot rod

13. Write a book

14. Finish reading Les Mis and the Count of Monte Cristo, unabridged (blah!)

15. Play on a soccer team

16. Live in Boston

17. Surf in Hawaii

18. Hike Machu Pichu

19. Sail off the coast of Greece

20. Get married to my best friend

21. Have some children/a family

22. Learn to crochet

23. Learn the guitar

24. Re-learn the violin

25. Keep my living space clean at all times

26. Meet Clint Eastwood

27. Date Kyle Korver

28. See every Seinfield episode

29. Kayak off the coast of Washington

30. Become a yoga instructor

31. Lotoja

32. Wasatch Back Relay

33. Learn the Cha Cha

34. Eat authentic Mexican food

35. Ride an elephant

36. Ride in a hot air balloon

37. Read the Old(e) Testament- front to back

38. Hike it the Alps (check!)

39. Hike in the Himalayas

40. Walk the Great Wall of China

41. Own a ski boat

42. Clear the wake on a wakeboard

43. See a play at the Globe Theater

44. Dine with a current U.S. president

45. Overthrow NCLB with a better plan

46. Be a guest of Oprah

47. See COLDPLAY- LIVE

48. Ski at Targee

49. Sleep in an ice hotel in Scandinavia

50. Trace my roots in Denmark, England, and Ireland

51. Do temple work for all traceable ancestors

52. Go elk hunting

53. Write in my journal at least once a week

54. Change a flat tire all by myself

55. Change the oil in my car all by myself

56. Cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner for my whole family

57. Share the gospel with those I love

58. Replace and overcome my fear of my clip-in pedals (ride them crash free)

59. Sail on the Great Salt Lake

60. Swim/float in the Dead Sea

61. Do volunteer work at an orphanage in Africa

62. Coach a Special Olympics team for at least a year

63. Volunteer monthly at Primary Children's

64. Grow a green thumb

65. Learn to fix a leaking sink

66. Memorize all the U.S. presidents along with the years they served in office

67. Visit all 50 states

68. Fish in Alaska

69. Hike the Subway

70. Hike the Grand Tetons (highest peak) with Erika

71. Take my parents on a vacation to Europe

72. Record my parents' personal history

73. Maintain a position as the cool aunt :)

74. Learn to play The Flight of the Bumblebee

75. Be a Utah Symphony season ticket holder

76. Own a baby grand piano

77. Attend a MLB and NFL game

78. Buy a car with cash

79. Beat Marcie in a handstand contest

80. Sew my own Halloween costume

81. Own a home

82. Hike Mt. Timpanogos and other cool peaks in Utah

83. Visit the Smithsonian museums

84. Serve a mission with my husband

85. Earn a reputation for some delicious baked good (not Muddy Buddies)

86. Learn another language (Spanish or French... or Latin)

87. Buy/build/inherit a cabin at Bear Lake or somewhere like it

88. Start and maintain a tradition of a yearly vacation with my BEST friends

89. Teach college level courses

90. Have a small child (not my own) named after me (nudge, nudge)

91. Sew a T-shirt quilt with my millions of T-shirts from college

92. Eat my daily servings of vegetables... everyday

93. Get off and stay off any and all meds for the rest of my life

94. Havasupai

95. Take photography classes

96. Take pottery classes

97. Live in the 20s and dress like a flapper

98. Become a multimillionaire so I can retire as a philanthropist

99. Never see another Twilight movie as long as I live!!

100. Teach special ed

101. Live a happy and fulfilled life

And now you know that I live in a dream world.

Take it from these guys...

2009-07-08T22:51:00.004-06:00

Dating would be a lot less bothersome if the time I spent with boys I date was more like time I spend with my nephews. Dates are hit and miss; nephews are always fun and ALWAYS make me feel good. In an effort to help the many helpless boys in the world (bless their hearts), I have compiled a list of things I love about spending time with my nephews. When taken to heart and applied to dating, these tips can be oober helpful and improve success rates in dating— I golden guarantee it!

Go ahead, give it a whirl.

1. Laugh at the lame jokes I tell

2. Sing along to songs I make up about you

3. Talk about how much you miss your mom when you're out with me

4. Believe everything I tell you

5. Get so excited about going out with me that you can't finish your dinner

6. Let me choose what music we listen to

7. Make fake siren noises and tell me that I'm being pulled over

8. Fight with another person at the movie theater about getting to sit right next to me (or on my lap)

9. Hold my hand tight during scary parts of the movie

10. Laugh ridiculously hard at really, really lame parts of the movie

11. Get really excited about something you saw in the movie and talk on and on and on about how you're going to make it happen in real life

12. Tell me that I look boo-tiful, even when I probably look like a boy

13. Sing "You Are My Sunshine" with me while we're grocery shopping

14. Push the buttons for me on the credit card machine at the check out

15. Offer to share your mushy, sticky banana with me and look sad when I don't want a bite

16. Believe that your dad really could fly to the moon if he wanted to

17. Ask me to verify anything that you're not sure about

18. Let me play with your toys

19. Make me cards and pictures out of colored glue, glitter, etc.

20. Get sad and cry at the end of the night when the date has to end

I love your brain

2009-07-07T10:00:00.003-06:00

Sunday night my family was holding the weekly "Megan Dating Intervention" meeting (which I try to avoid at all costs). Norm had advised me to do something silly like "just plant one" on a boy. I told him that I didn't need to kiss a boy to get him to fall in love with me, because someday someone is going to fall in love with me because of my brain.

Norm laughed really hard.

The rest of my family laughed.

I'm laughing a little bit as I write this post.

Oh, Norm....

Drawing Lines

2009-07-06T17:13:00.005-06:00

From the Mixed-Up European files of Megan
I'm not sure why dating was weighing on my mind while I was in Europe, but it was. Here's some food for thought on dating from my journal at that time. Any sharing of insight is greatly encouraged.

However, if you're related to me, and you're married, don't bother commenting. I already know what you're going to tell me!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sometimes I feel like all I do in dating is draw lines, one after another. Then I convince or remind myself of the purpose of those lines.

Sometimes I draw lines for myself:
"Megan, he's no into you (although, he probably should be.) You are just friends."
or
"Megan, he's not the type of guy you know you want to end up with— be strong and cut him loose."

Sometimes I draw general lines in conversations or by way of reputation. This was people will know what type of boys I do and don't date, and what I expect out of a relationship.

And more often than I'd like to, I draw lines for the boys that I have close, personal relationships with:
"We're just friends— nothing more."
"We're friends, but you take advantage of our friendship and lead me on. Stop it (jacka**)."
"I don't feel the same way for you that you do for me."

None of the scenarios are fun, and all are hurtful on both sides, believe it or not. The last scenario is the one that has the longest lingering effect. I have a tendancy to question my decision to draw that line, sometimes long after I draw it. I beat myself up reanalyzing the facts, trying to make sense of things. It should add up, but it just doesn't.... and I HATE this! I can't come up with even one good reason in some cases why it wouldn't work. It adds up beautifully on paper, like clockwork. BUT I just don't feel "it."

What is this "it" anyhow? What is "it" supposed to feel like?

Everyone tells me that, "You just know." Well I'd like to "just know" for crying out loud! Meanwhile, I'm paving a path of destruction while I wait to "just know." You'd think by age 26 I'd have something figured out, but I don't. It's as if I'm getting worse at dating and more confused about feelings.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That journal entry was almost a month old, and I still haven't solved the problems... can you believe it?

Doesn't reading my blog make you so grateful you're married (if you are)! And maybe a little less crazy if you're single?? That's what I'm here for. Don't mention it.

Frankles?!

2009-07-06T11:03:00.004-06:00

A friend recently decided to award me with the nick name frankles, for obvious reasons; I came home from Europe with Cankles and freckles. Clever, right? Well, I thought it was a nick name that was funny for a one-time conversation. Turns out it's sticking, and catching on with others. Thanks a lot, friend-who-I-cannot-come-up-with-a-mean-nickname- for!

I guess this is a step up from Megs'n Bacon.

[sigh]

Boys...

[sigh]

Freckle Juice

2009-07-02T09:23:00.004-06:00

So last night I had an appointment with my esthetician. I've been seeing her every couple months for quite a while now. Last night I laid down on her little bed thingy. She got everything ready to go, turned toward me and exclaimed, "Whoa! Um... I have some bleach I think you need to start using on your face to help control your freckles." All of a sudden I was flooded with memories of reading Freckle Juice in third grade and wondering, while reading it, if there really was a way to rid myself of freckles. After all these years, I've finally accepted my freckled self and now a licensed professional is telling me there is an actual product that can gradually bleach away my freckles. Where was she when I was nine?!

But seriously, as an adult, who worries about having freckles (because now I kind of am)?

Two very exaggerated, very funny videos

2009-07-01T13:48:00.001-06:00

Hope

2009-06-30T17:39:00.002-06:00

To you

the person who told me it's not like I see it,

or like I want it to be.

To you

the person who told me,

"Never..."

"Not you..."

"Not this time..."

"No..."

To you

the person with the answers, the knowledge

To you

I say,

"Don't be so certain."

I have hope.

Terrible Yellow Eyes

2009-06-26T13:00:00.001-06:00

A friend shared this link with me. It is the most wonderful thing I've stumbled upon since sliced bread. It makes me smile, a lot. Check it out, share it with your kiddos, and get even more excited for October 16th!

Nephews make the best dates

2009-06-26T08:00:00.003-06:00

I wish everyone had a nephew. Nothing beats spending an evening with darling, intelligent, fun children that you get to drop off to someone else at the end of the night.

The boys chose to go to Maddox Drive-In, in Perry. They were so busy talking about worm holes, black holes, evolution, and dogs that we eventually had to leave ... and finish our food on the go. Yes, I took the next two pictures while I was driving on the freeway, in case you were wondering.

If you'd ever care to see the red cocktail sauce pictured here, you can see it embedded in the carpet of my car anytime.

Then I had the bright idea of the Farr ice cream parlor in Ogden on the way home. But they had been there before. I don't know why I thought I would have been the first person to think to take kids there. (Sometimes I live in a dream world.) We accidentally ordered some HUGE portions of ice cream and ended up in sugar comas just trying to make it to the bottom.

[Aren't their smiles the cutest?!]

[Yes, I'm actually posting this super flattering photo. The boys said I needed a picture of myself, but I wouldn't let them hold my camera with their sticky hands (I know), and this is the awesome photography we ended up with.]

In other news:

In the past 8 days I have been called a brat/snob three times.

I was told by a boy that I don't feel and that there is a cold, dark cavity where my heart should go.

I had an Emma moment last week. Not the kind to be proud of.

I celebrated Taco Tuesday on Wednesday at work, for which I made homemade guacamole dip (thank you, Erika!)

I went on my first bike ride of the summer, on the Legacy Trail with a great friend and my bottom only hurts just slightly today. I never knew I could be so excited about an un-sore bottom.

My cankles have subsided. I'm considering throwing a Welcome Home party for my real ankles.

And a good friend encouraged me to not be so indecisive in life.

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."

Thus, I have started making decisions. And we'll see where those go.

Turning 26 Never Tasted so Good

2009-06-25T16:00:00.001-06:00

I actually turned 26 while I was in Heidelberd, Germany. But I held off on birthday celebrations until I returned home for obvious reasons... It's got to be hard to find my Betty Crocker Rainbow Chip birthday cake mix in Germany! Also, there are so many more people here to celebrate me.

And because I only turn 26 once...

I went with some of my good friends to eat at Taggart's Grill.

I ate, and shared (some) delicious chocolate cake.

I posed for really awkward photos... because I can.

And now I'm just trying to adjust to remembering my new age, 26. It seems like ever since I turned 23, I can't seem to remember how old I am. Just a few months ago, in fact, I told someone I met that I was 23. And I really thought that I was. You can imagine my shock when my friend called me the following day to tell me that I hadn't been 23 for over 2 years.

They say that you lose your mind as you grow older. I just might be living proof.

Since You Been Gone...

2009-06-24T22:45:00.004-06:00

So I've been out of the country for a few weeks. I was too busy to blog while getting ready for the trip. (You can thank me later for not boring you with the details of packing.) And since I've been home, I've been just trying to catch up on life and get back on a somewhat normal sleep schedule.

I went with two friends to backpack all over Spain, Italy, Germany, Switzerland, and Austria. I kept a journal and took pictures while I was there. I plan on posting some of the more interesting and entertaining journal entries I kept while I was there. So here's one for today to wet your whistle:

6 June 2009

Capri, Italy

In Europe everyone wears bikinis at the beach, and I mean EVERYONE! Everyone also smokes and drinks (I realize that's an inaccurate generalization in hind sight). We see kids that look about 12 walking around with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. Perhaps that's how they all stay so thin so they can wear their bikinis. I, on the other hand, keep reaching into my backpack for gummy bears, or "pandas," as they call them here in Italy. Maybe I should consider taking up smoking.

Everyone in Italy wears designer glasses, sunglasses, clothing, and accessories, I have seen maybe one pair of glasses while in Italy that didn't have HUGE designer emblems on the side— and they were mine.

Rome is absolutely filthy! It if weren't for the many ancient Roman attractions, I would refuse to step foot in that city.

I have had cankles since the moment I first stepped off the plane in Frankfurt. So just in case my pasty white skin isn't attractive enough, I have sweet, thick cankles to supplement it. Note to self: Google how to prevent and get rid of feet/ankles retaining water for future trips. It's surprisingly painful.

List of Items Lost, Stolen, of Misplaced:

Today- Andres' camera

Airport in Malaga- my really expensive, new trail shoes

Airport from SLC to Frankfurt- my towel

Airport in Geneva- my black flip flops that gave me wicked blisters in Munich (good riddance)

Hmmm.... I don't really recall why I wrote what I wrote. But I did. I'm sure those of you who have never been to Europe feel like you have been there now through the imagery and thoughts portrayed in my journal entry, huh? :)

Keane Observations

2009-05-14T00:01:00.007-06:00

Tuesday I went

[here]

To see

[these guys]

with

[this girl].

And it looked a little something like

[THAT!]

It's surprisingly difficult to get a decent picture of the band when there are a million strobe lights. This was my best effort.

Concert Review: Hands down, my favorite concert I've been to. I loved both opening acts (Mat Kearney is one of my top ten favorites) and knew and loved all the Keane songs. Plus the absence of alcohol made for a much less obnoxious crowd. And I haven't been to a Coldplay concert, so this one remains the best until I do.

Music Suggestion: Keane- all of their albums, but especially the latest. Mat Kearney- pick and choose his songs on his albums (see me for specifics). Helio Sequence- not bad at all, but much better live.

Word.

Almost a Parent

2009-05-10T18:22:00.004-06:00

No, this is not an announcement. I'm pretty sure you've got to kiss a boy or something along those lines to become a parent.

Anyway...

When I was in college I was a nanny of sorts for a family. Another girl about my age and I would take turns helping the mom with the kids on extra busy days or watching the kids on nights the parents had something. Over the years as I've become busy with a full time job and other things, the other nanny girl and I have stopped babysitting but have kept in touch with this cute family. I still take their kids every once in a while so the parents can have a date night and I can catch up with the kiddos. The other nanny girl does the same. Sometime over the course of the past few years the other girl got married and now has two kids. I didn't. This is confusing for the kids' little minds.

A few weeks ago I was watching the kiddos while the parents went to catch a flick. I was helping the five-year-old get his PJs on and get ready for bed. He looked at me and asked, "Are you a parent?" I took time explaining to him that I wasn't married like his other sitter that has kids, thus I had no children.

He looked at me again and said, "So you're in high school?"

"No, I've been out of high school for a while," I said.

"So you're in college?" he inquired.

"Um, no. I've been out of college for a little while. Now I go to a job all day," was my answer.

"And you have no kids?" he asked again, just to double check.

"Nope."

"Oh, I get it! You're almost a parent!" he exclaimed

"YES," I said. "I am almost a parent."

A couple weeks later, I was helping this same little boy put his PJs on again. We went through a similar dialogue. Except this time at the end of the conversation, he looked at me and said, "You're not married 'cuz you're saving your appetite for me, huh?" (while doing some sort of disco dance.) I could have died laughing. And then I felt bad, because he was completely serious. I grabbed his chubby cheeks, looked at him and said, "Yes. I want to marry someone exactly like you someday. Hopefully he'll be a little closer to my age."

So although I don't have children to have given me cause to celebrate Mother's Day yesterday, I am almost a parent. So I almost celebrated.

But to all of those actual mothers out there who raise these clever and entertaining children, thank you! Thank you for devoting your life to such a selfless, noble cause. And to all you Mother's Day greeting card writers who brought me to tears in the aisle at Walmart, I hate you. But I love my mother. She's not perfect, but she's better than any other mother I could have imagined. And she's a really great woman for putting up with me and loving me even after seeing me at my very worst... over, and over, and over.

Happy belated Mother's Day, everyone!

No Child Left Behind- No Teacher Left Standing

2009-05-06T12:26:00.003-06:00

A co-worker of mine, who is also a former teacher, sent me THIS LINK. It's a somewhat recent article from the New York Times about the future of the No Child Left Behind law. It's a very telling article. If you have children in public education, work in public education, or care about the fate of public education, you will find this article interesting and frustrating. And you should probably be very scared.

The following letter is written in response to that article. No, it's not a letter that I plan on mailing— just a pseudo letter that allows me to vent.

Dear Mr. President & U.S. Legislators:

Have you no children?!? Have you no heart?!? No brains?!?

Wait. I'd better start over.....

Dear Mr. President & U.S. Legislators:

I have read recent information regarding the future of the No Child Left Behind law. The information I have read has given me cause to worry. The following excerpt from the New York Times article gives me the heebie jeebies:

"... Congressional rewriting of the federal law later this year to toughen requirements on topics like teacher quality and academic standards and to intensify its focus on helping failing schools. The law’s testing requirements may evolve but will certainly not disappear. And the federal role in education policy, once a state and local matter, is likely to grow."

I would like to address where I think this law falls short.

Teacher quality and academic standards are being assessed by tests, portfolios, twice-a-year principal observations, and other similar techniques. Just four years ago I completed my degree in elementary and special education. In order to be considered a "highly qualified" teacher you decided (indirectly) to have me pay a couple hundred dollars and take a four hour test. I was tested on all major academic topics from U.S. history to geometry. I'm smart enough, I did well on the test and received some official-looking certificate that is now filed away in a location I couldn't remember if my life depended on it. I accepted my first teaching job as a highly qualified teacher. And I thought I was. I had the diploma, test scores and certificate, and portfolio of college projects to prove it.

I hated my first year of teaching. Hated, hated, hated it. I worked at a good school, had a great principal, had a great team of teachers to work with, and had the most adorable students. I hated teaching that year. Time that should have been spent coming up with and creating memorable learning experiences for my students was spent writing out lesson plans on the official lesson plan observation sheets, gathering data after data to prove my students were improving, organizing YET ANOTHER portfolio, having unnecessary formal meetings with my principal so we could sign a form saying we met, attending numerous trainings before and after school, and writing (or should I say b.s.ing) goals and proof of achievement each term. Oh, yes. And then there was that ESL program that I spent four hours a week attending, and many more hours working on pointless projects... all for the sake of meeting the new requirements of being a highly qualified teacher. I DID NOT sign up for this. Silly me, thinking that I was hired to teach content curriculum to children. My naivety led to a complete oversight of the biggest portion of my job, jumping through hoops!

Year 2 and 3 of teaching were similar to the first year, and only slightly less hectic due to the small amount of teaching experience under my belt. If the goal of making sure that I was highly qualified and a "quality" teacher was to help schools and students improve, I give that goal a failing grade! I helped no one. I became really, really good at taking tests (because I had to pay even more money and take TWO standardized tests after my 3rd year), creating well organized portfolios, and acting really on the ball during my many meetings and classes. My test scores, diploma, and many certificates meant nothing to me at the end of my third year of teaching. I felt like a failure. I had spent all of my time meeting my requirements to be highly qualified, that I hadn't been able to improve on my classroom management, teaching strategies, curriculum planning, and parent relationships- to name a few crucial and neglected skill sets essential to teaching. I could not shake the feeling that I was static in my skills as a teacher but improving in my skills daily as a bureaucratic butt-kisser, and hoop jumper.

My whole life I have wanted to be a teacher. That is all I ever wanted to play with my friends as a child. I, of course, got to play the role of the teacher. I have the most vivid memories of my own grade school experience. I remember just how my classrooms were set up, what they looked like, smelled like, and sounded like. I can remember phrases, verbatim, that my teachers said in teaching lessons. I loved my teachers. I loved school. I loved learning. I fear that my teaching experience fell short of creating those same types of memories for students I had. We had fun, we did fun things, I cared for them, they cared for me, but there was always a overarching pressure to PROVE and SUCCEED that I couldn't shake, and the students couldn't shake it either. Children in 3rd and 4th grade should be having anxiety over their birthday parties, soccer games, and ballet performances if they're going to have anxiety. NOT over their end of level test scores, and hours required to practice for those tests! They are kids for crying out loud! Let them be kids and let them learn like kids!! We are doing a huge disservice to the upcoming generation by teaching them to be great test takers, fact memorizers (which doesn't last after the test, by the way), number crunchers, intense (not intent) listeners, and stressed students. These are not factors that contribute to learning.

Do YOUR homework. Talk to teachers. Talk to students. Talk to parents. Talk to the people in the trenches- they know. Visit a classroom for one week, one day, one hour, and you'll see that this approach to reforming education will only get us right back where we started- failing schools and failing students.

Sincerely,

A burnt-out, former teacher who would like very much to go back teaching someday

Terms of Use Agreement

2009-04-27T23:26:00.004-06:00

I have often thought that I should give a terms of use agreement to boys that I date before things get very serious. This way they know all about my crazy female characteristics of which I can do nothing about. They will know what they are getting themselves into. Then, if at any point in the relationship I frustrate, confuse, annoy, or hurt them, I will just wave the terms of use agreement in their face... as a subtle reminder of the fact that they knew what they were getting themselves into before the show began. It would probably go something like this:

I, the undersigned, do hereby agree to relinquish any and all decision-making capabilities to Megan, the girl I choose to date. By doing so, I understand that Megan will be making any crucial decisions, as determined to be crucial by her, throughout the course of our courtship. I recognize that dating a girl who is moderately attractive, smart, and funny is a rare find. I will make every effort possible to assure her that I am giving this relationship my very best efforts. Anything short of my best efforts will result in in termination of said relationship. I do understand that Megan, though typically super awesome and delightful to date, will sometimes have a momentary lapse of rational thought— she is, after all, female. I will not judge, think less of Megan for, or complain of any of the following actions:

Sitting with her arms tightly folded at the movie theater after I comment on the attractiveness of the lead actress
Not returning my phone calls or other attempts at communication for nearly a week to prove a point
Listening to what I'm saying and then later pretending not to remember what I said because I didn't say what she wanted to hear
Getting her feelings hurt and waiting months to tell me after a completely unrelated event or discussion
Saying that she doesn't expect me to plan anything for her birthday and then being sad and disappointed when I don't
Being mad when I don't pick up on all the hints she has given
Faking sick so she doesn't have to hang out with my family, again

I understand that the above list is not conclusive and may be added to at anytime according to the desire of the author. I also understand that I am one lucky sucker.

Signed, ____________________________

Decisions

2009-04-24T23:24:00.002-06:00

I graduated from college with a Bachelor's degree four years ago. The same number of years that I spent in college. Four years ago... really? My life plan was to go straight into a graduate degree after a Bachelor's. But I got a degree in education instead of the subject listed in my life plan, so I thought I should put my degree to use for a year. One turned into two, then three. Then I was offered an amazing opportunity to work in publishing. Grad school was put on hold, yet again, while I checked this route out. I am really glad that I took the job I have now, I LOVE it. I loved teaching, too. But it sucked the life out of me. I miss it everyday, still. Well, I miss the kids. But I really, really, really enjoy what I do now. I consider that a huge blessing, because I know that isn't the case for many working adults.
So why can't I just be normal and keep enjoying doing just what I'm doing, like a normal person?! I'm starting to feel restless lately, and guilty for neglecting my goal of furthering my education. I have friends who are beginning and ending various graduate programs and I am green with envy as they tell me about all the exciting things they get to study. I'm not generally a jealous person, but it's BAD lately. Does that make me a huge nerd?!
I'm been looking into graduate programs at the U. Most programs I'm interesting in don't have spring semester start dates, only fall. That means I could potentially be getting excited for a program I won't begin for a year and a half. And who knows where I'll be in life at that point. The other two problems I'm running into are 1) What do I want to study? And 2) Do they offer classes at night? I do not want to leave my job; I'm really happy there. Can I do both? Can I have the best of both worlds, like Hannah Montana? I don't really have a choice because I need the income and the health insurance. Blah. And what on earth do I study?!
I have interests in everything from law to creative writing. The problem is, I don't have any strong traits/talents that would turn me toward a particular path. I have mostly been considering American History and Creative Writing. Those seem like things that could apply to my current profession, and they're both things that I really, really enjoy. I'm already starting to worry ... Can I remember all the names and dates in the history courses? Will I be able to come up with enough good ideas to complete a novel for the writing program? I'm not even in the programs and I'm already stressing!
BLAH! I don't even know what to do! I just want to have a goal, to be working toward something else. Had I known 4 years ago that I'd be basically in the same position today as I was then, I would have started a law degree. I'd be about done by now. Talk about kicking yourself. So I NEED to start... something... soon... hopefully before the fall of 2010. I need to do something with my life, take advantage of the "blessing of being single. I have no idea what I'm going to do, but I'm going to do something. I miss school!

Just when you thought life couldn't get any better...

2009-04-22T10:46:00.002-06:00

grrrrrr.

2009-04-19T17:27:00.002-06:00

Now I realize that emotions are heightened when you're sick and sleep-deprived, but that's not going to stop me.

I have never been one who minds being single. I believe that you'll never be happy when you're with someone if you're not happy being alone first. I would, however, like to graduate from this single state that I'm in someday, but I'm going to enjoy this phase of my life while it lasts. What a great opportunity to take advantage of this time to further education, get financially stable, travel, and just have as much fun as humanly possible. But like I've said and written time and time again... being single would be even better if you didn't have to date!! If you could take dating and feelings out of the equation, and just simply live and enjoy this single state until you magically met someone you love and want to marry, I'd say, "Where do I sign?!" It's pretty hard to enjoy this stage of life whole-heartedly when there are always feelings and thoughts of dating floating around in your head.

Over the past few years as I've moved further and further from my college years, I have noticed a gradual, and then somewhat drastic decline in the number of dating opportunities I have. I used to think this was because I'm not encircled in the college social circuit anymore, or most of my best friends are married, or I'm just so busy with work and other things. But it's none of those reasons. There are still as many people in the world as there were a few years ago... probably more, I don't know for sure. I still go out into the world as often as I did years ago. But how is it that at this point in my life, where I could actually be a great girlfriend, I am more interesting, more confident, more intelligent than I was in college, yet I have so fewer dating opportunities? Anyone who thought they might want to date me all that time ago has no idea what they were missing out on, compared to where I am now in life. But that fact about growing up and evolving is just the problem. As singles grow up, come into their own, and become greater people, they alienate themselves in the dating scene. The older we get, the more "specialized" our dating becomes.

I look back at past boyfriends I've had and boys I've dated. They cover a very broad spectrum of personalities, attractiveness, and intelligence. I used to like a boy if he liked me! If he was a mostly decent guy, and was willing to go out on a limb to show interest in me, I liked him back. HOW PATHETIC! I was the classic case of "Girl with lack of self esteem, wanting attention from any guy who would give it to her." How sad to think that I valued myself most when a boy was interested in me.

Well, fear no more. After many, many humbling experiences with rejection, one is really forced to sit back and think about dating patterns. I'm glad for dating experiences gone awry (well, not all of them if I'm being honest- but most.) But mostly I'm glad for life and growing up. I'm glad that I know who I am today. I don't like country music, I never have. But I'm not going to pretend like I do, or suffer through it to impress a guy like I have in the past. And conversely, I know what I want. No, I don't know what it looks like, sounds like, or acts like. But I know what it feels like.

Herein lies the problem today. I have been around the block a time or two or three or four... with dating. People don't believe me when I tell them I can tell on the first date whether or not things with a boy will go anywhere, but I can. I am a seasoned veteran, as are most singles my age. So why go out with every boy that asks me? So I can say that I'm always open-minded and trying. I still give chances to different types of boys, I just don't let them develop into full-blown relationships now that I know what I want and need. One or two dates will do the job of confirming what I already knew- It's not going to work out.

As you can imagine, when I finally find a boy that I can feel like things would go well with, it's a rare and exciting find. But the frustrating part is that when you find them, they aren't ready to find you... or they found someone else... or they're just plain stupid! And it hurts really, really bad because you know in the deepest part of your heart that you're supposed to be with someone like that. And as you sit back to evaluate to make sure you're not just telling yourself what you want to hear, you're honest with yourself. More honest than you've ever been. And you just keep coming to the same conclusion: Nothing else makes more sense than being with that person. There are few other people in the world who know your soul like that person does. They understand your reasoning behind decisions in your life without you having to explain. They appreciate you for the attributes you value most. They think you're funny, even if you're not actually trying to be. They care, and you can feel it. They appreciate you more than any of the other people with whom you associate. But they just don't want to be with you. And you're finally mature enough to know that those two things don't always go hand in hand: loving someone and wanting to be with them. There are a million things that could effect this, but I have to just accept that I'll never understand why. It makes zero sense and it hurts worse than the time I crashed wake boarding and got a concussion, but it just is. There is power in accepting this fact.... and moving on. But it hurts, still. And every time you relive the experience, even with a better perspective, it hurts. And even though you have faith to know that this will all make sense someday, it hurts.

And when you feel your eyes welling up with tears as you think about it- you give yourself a little slap across the face, tell yourself to stop feeling sorry, and decide that there are much bigger problems in life. Fortunately, the problem you're facing right now isn't the biggest problem in the world- not even close. So you walk yourself into your kitchen to get some food, and remind yourself that you've never had to worry where your next meal will come from. And on your way to the kitchen you pass your coat closet with a surplus of coats to keep you warm. You chat with a family member or two who loves you as you eat your food. You think of the things you need to do for work tomorrow and you remember how lucky you are to have a job, an income, and health insurance. Then you think about your faith and what you can do to strengthen it- and that's why you're going to be okay. Because come what may, you have your faith and no person can ever replace that blessing.

Don't Judge Me

2009-04-16T22:39:00.003-06:00

For weeks now, I have been talking to my oldest niece about our date night. I had taken her older brother and cousins out on movie "dates" when they finished reading books that were made into movies. She was feeling a little left out because she hasn't learned to read yet. So I told her that she and I could go on a date of our own. She decided that she wanted to see a movie too. But not just any movie, the Hannah Montana movie. I begged, pleaded, and bartered with her to try to get her to choose something else... anything else! But she would not budge.

So a few nights ago, I picked my niece up for our date and we went to see this movie. She made her mom do her hair again so that it looked cute. She giggled and chatted the whole way to the movie theater. I did my best to act excited while thinking to myself, "When she's an adult I'm going to use this night as leverage to get a favor out of her." We parked the car and she grabbed my hand and started skipping into the theater, grinning from ear to ear. Our conversation about how super cool Hannah Montana is was cut short as the previews began rolling. She giggled, grabbed my arm and looked at me with an expression that made me think she might actually explode.

From the second Hannah Montana appeared on the screen, my niece was like a statue who no longer cared about her Sprite or the popcorn, and who forgot about her candy I had stowed away in my purse. It was pretty darn cute.

The movie ended. Later that night and the next day at work, many people asked me how the movie was. And I'm just going to put it out there... I liked it. Don't judge me.

Hits & Help

2009-04-13T22:22:00.002-06:00

So I put a counter on my blog almost two weeks ago. And the last time I checked I had 415 views... no, hits. I like hits better. I had 415 hits. That either means a) I need to rack my brain to come up with some entertaining banter to post on here or b) 415 people have too much time on their hands. At any rate, I'm really writing this post to enlist your help.

In just a few short weeks (or long weeks, I guess) I will be embarking on an international adventure. And although I'm somewhat excited to leave the country for the first time in my life, I'm mostly freaking out. I'd say I'm about 21% excited and 79% freaking out. Aside from the fact that I'm a complete germ-a-phobe, I have to pack almost a month's worth of living supplies into a small-ish backpack that can weigh no more than 40 pounds. I need to prepare for all types of weather, activity, and terrain. If you have any suggestions from lessons you've learned while traveling, please comment here! Maybe there's something you'd wished you would have known, wished you would have taken, wished you wouldn't have taken, etc. Please let me know! I am notorious for over-packing. This will be a truly humbling experience for me. Wish me luck!

Dating Advice from the Non-Expert Dater

2009-04-08T23:15:00.006-06:00

I often wonder why anyone would come to me for dating advice. Hello, I'm single and I've been that way for some time. I wonder why these friends don't go to married people, they're the ones who have mastered the art of dating. But then I remember the strange phenomenon of dating memory loss that married people experience not long after they've been married. I think they must be so happy they've finally found someone they love and can stand to spend their time with, that they block all of the horribly painful dating memories from their mind. I can't say I blame them. So that must be why single people don't often go to married friends for advice. That said, I'm still not the best option of someone to talk to. I subscribe to the "prepare for the worst and hope for the best" school of thought in dating. This means that I tell my friends worst-case scenario when they come to me with their dating woes. I also call this "telling it like it is," because more often than not, the worst case is what comes to pass in dating. Otherwise you wouldn't be dating- you'd be married.

So here is some of the dating advice that I have given recently and some of the advice I give most frequently (both to myself and others.)

If he's not asking you on dates, he's not interested in being more than friends.
If you're interested in him, and he's not asking you out, don't let him waste anymore of your time. We all need friends—so choose friends you're not having a one-sided crush on.
She can't really be "busy" every time you try to take her out. She's avoiding going out with you.
Actions speak louder than words. If she's keeps saying yes to going out with you, but acts distant, disinterested, or hard to read, she likes dates and not you.
Someone who is really interested in you doesn't forget to call you or text you back. They will also initiate communication, not just respond to yours.
Someone who is interested in you can always make time for you, no matter how busy they are.
It's okay to give indicators that you're interested. Help the boy out. Bait the hook and walk away—let him do the initial legwork.
Stop dating girls who don't have brains. I'm sick of hearing you complain.
Just ask her out. I don't care how scared you are or what other extraneous factors get in the way. Just ask her out, see how she reacts, and then you won't have to wonder.
Date the type of people you want to marry. If you keep dating people who are emotional wrecks, you're going to end up marrying one.
Make a personal connection with someone you're interested in during a conversation. Do more than laugh and joke with them. Everyone wants to feel like they can open up to people they're dating.
Maybe don't ask girls out that you meet at your high school sister's ball games. Chances are they're in high school.
Just do it—grow up and date. There are no excuses.

It's not always what we want to hear, but sometimes it's what we need to hear. Emotions can really get in the way of rational thinking (see previous post).

Argument #1 for the Insanity of Females

2009-04-03T00:23:00.004-06:00

What is it about emotions that make you turn into goo when your brain and your heart decide to work together to create a crush on someone? I consider myself a sane person, generally. I am a sane person who has plenty to say and usually has no problem expressing exactly what is on my mind. That is, until I have a crush on a boy. My IQ drops at least 30 points as soon as I make eye contact with a boy I have a crush on. And instead of being my usual self who says just what I'm thinking, I begin double, triple, and quadruple guessing everything I want to say. Words are mulled around so many times in my head before they actually come out that they sound robotic and void of any flavor by the time I'm finally able to spit a coherent sentence at him. Poor fella is just getting gobs and gobs of abrupt, disconnected, meaningless sentences spewed into his face and there is nothing he can do about it! Part of me wants to tell him to run. Run far away and save yourself from exposure to my lack of intellect. But mostly, run before I have a chance to ruin any any positive conceptions you may have of me.

Not only do I have a ridiculously difficult time carrying a conversation with the boy, but my tongue swells... seriously. Yes, just like Buddy the elf!! I feel my cheeks turn red, my speech slurs because of the swollen tongue phenomenon, my eyes are shifty and dart from one corner of the room to the other, and I can never seem to find a comfortable place to put my hands. I have never felt/ looked so awkward with my hands on my hips as when I'm talking to a crush. So, for some reason I end up with my arms folded so tight I begin to lose circulation. But this prevents me from going for that itch on the inside of my nose or fidgeting with the zipper on my hoodie while I talk to the crush.

The things that I say are not only clumsy, but they lack any humor, intonation, and consideration for his responses. I just want to get the words out, throw them out there so that my mind feels like I'm having a conversation with the crush... and that equates to crush productivity, in my mind.

If talking and acting like an idiot isn't enough, I start to have irrational thoughts and feelings. I exaggerate the situation in my mind a hundred fold. It might be a boy that I met just recently and have interacted with only few times. But each time he talks to me, you'd better believe that we are getting together, having a relationship, and sometimes breaking up in my head. It's at moments like these that I am reassured of the presence of female emotions that I'm often afraid I lack. I am normal- for a girl. I call up my single bff after each interaction with the crush and relate the insignificant interaction in such great detail that one would think he and I had spent the entire day together, when it was really a five-minute conversation. And during the course of my conversation with my friend I have expressed concern for him not liking me, me not liking him, what type of boyfriend he may or may not be, and what it will be like when we raise children together.

A good friend listens and doesn't try to rationalize with you when you're like this, because you CAN'T be rationalized with. In a state like this, your mind has been void of all rationale capabilities for the past 24+ hours. Your friend waits it out and tries her best not to say anything at all, for fear that you might take her advice a little too literally and do something drastic and potentially embarrassing. Plus she remembers a time, not long ago, when she heard herself saying some of the same things you're saying about a boy she hardly knew that she ultimately knew she wouldn't end up with.

The patterns described above repeat themselves over the following days and weeks until something snaps and sanity kicks in. I never know just what it takes for this to happen, but it does... thank heavens! And I am left to look back over my irrational trail of destruction. And then I just want to crawl in a hole and die, or at least sleep for a very, very long period of time. Just long enough for everyone to forget any interaction they had with me during my course of craziness.

And then, just a few months later, it starts all over again... just when you were starting to fix the damage caused from the previous wake of irrational destruction.

Sometimes being a girl just sucks.

Things I Don't Do Often Enough

2009-04-02T21:21:00.003-06:00

1. Wear plum purple shoes

2. Go to bed before 12:30 am

3. Floss my teeth

4. Drive exactly 65 mph on the freeway

5. Take time to literally stop and smell the roses

6. Go to a public place without a stitch of makeup on just to show the world I don't care

7. Fly a kite

8. Hike Adam's Canyon- It's right there!

9. Call my sisters for no particular reason

10. Have sleepovers with the nieces and nephews

11. Wear a dress on Casual Friday

12. Play Go Fish

13. Write in my journal

14. Tell people how much I appreciate them

15. Drive in the car with the radio off and possibly with the windows down

16. Stay home on a Saturday night just to read a book

17. Strike up a conversation with a complete stranger in a public place

18. Visit the public library

19. GO TO THE SYMPHONY!

20. Go into work early just to feel like I'm trying extra hard that day

21. Tell someone when they've hurt my feelings (Yeah, I'm ten years old.)

22. Stand up for people being trash-talked when they're not around to stand up for themselves

23. Listen to fm100.3

24. Surprise loved ones with little treats

25. Think about what I'm going to say before I actually say it

26. Sing in the shower

27. Quietly ponder

28. Send letters in the mail

29. Turn down a treat (It's surprisingly a very empowering feeling)

30. Just get down when I hear an old school hip hop song

31. Cry when I feel the need to

32. Admit when I'm wrong (This is totally Norm's fault!)

33. Bake cookies for no particular reason

34. Walk to work

35. Ask my mom what she needs help with

36. Try something new and and potentially risky

37. Watch Saturday morning cartoons (Do they still have those?)

The Year in Pictures. So Far, Anyway.

2009-03-31T01:01:00.011-06:00

It's only March ... or maybe April by the time I post this. But so far this year has proven itself to be a good one. It could possibly be up for the title of one of the best years of my life thus far. Here are some of the things that have kept my busy:

Okay, there's really no reason for this photo... other than I think it's funny. :)

The Special Olympic Utah Winter Games

Quite possibly my favorite event of each year.

I look forward to spending the weekend at the games with these 3 brothers every year... for 7 years now. Nothing like being teased relentlessly for 2-3 days by 3 brothers.

The athlete below has asked me to marry him for nearly 7 years in a row now.

Gotta admire that determination.

Yes, they light a real torch at the Opening Ceremonies.

The band that played for the dance after the ceremonies let the athletes "perform" on their instruments. This was the cutest thing I've seen in a long time!

My cute friend Natalie and I convinced our office to hold a Valentine's exchange. We were a little homesick for our teacher days. Some of them really got into it. Check out our Valentine boxes!

I got a lot of grief for co-planning this and then using a bag from the store as my Valentine Box. Oops.

I got to play Cinderella for a local elementary school's Literacy Night. I took one of my nephews with me to play Prince Charming. He was a great sport!

(And he's going to kill me when he's a teenager!)

His little sister was so excited to see us when I took him home that she ran upstairs to put on her "Cinderella-la" dress.

I sang "karaoke" to Rock Band. I always refuse to sing- always! But my cute friend offered to sing a duet... and I actually enjoyed it. But don't tell my friends— my fake guitar skills are much more developed.

I have begun to notice a pattern of falling asleep at social events... prior to 10 p.m. This phenomenon may or may not be related to the patch of grey hair developing near the part in my hair.

I learned the Cha Cha and that chivalry might not be dead, all in the same evening!

I discovered that just because you show up to the Holi Festival of Colors after the throwing of colors, doesn't necessarily mean that some wild, strange 18-year-old girl won't randomly throw a fistful of pink chalk right into your eyes while running by at an incredibly fast rate.

(Sometimes nothing gets your point across like a good run-on sentence.)

I figure if the first quarter of the year was already THAT good, there's bound to be even more to be had in the last three quarters.

Actions Speak Too Loudly

2009-03-30T10:26:00.006-06:00

I sometimes think that having a brain is a curse. I’m no genius, heavens no! But I’m a thinker. I watch people, their actions, their words, and I catch similarities in patterns of behavior between different people that I interact with. Basically, I create generalizations and apply them to people based on their patterns of behavior. I do this all subconsciously. The problem with generalizations is that they don’t always apply to the people they’re labeling, at least they don’t always fully apply. But just try telling my brain that, I dare you. I am a very logical, sequential thinker. Once I’ve observed a person and their pattern of behavior, a label soon follows. The label and the person are together until death do them part, unless they begin a new sequence of behaviors that follow a new pattern. But in order to get a new label, the new behavior needs to be more extreme than the first, and continue for a much longer period of time. (I don’t write the rules, people. This is just how my brain works.) This way of thinking can cause many problems.

It’s not to say that I gold grudges, because I like to think I’m quite forgiving when I’m wronged. I would hope people could do the same for me. But when a girl shows a pattern of being a friend who lacks trustworthy qualities, my brain shuts her off. I don’t sit and stew over how upset I am with her, my brain simply forgets about her entirely. I never think to call her. I never wonder how she’s doing. I just do my own thing and assume she’s doing hers.

As I spend years and years mingling with the same singles, I categorize boys as friends, and they stay there. Even boys that come back into my life after 7 years, come back as friends. My best single gal pal gives me lots of grief for this. But it’s not me, it’s my brain… it can’t be controlled! As you can imagine, this particular application of my thinking patterns causes a lot of confusion. Apparently not all boys who are friends with girls wish to stay just friends with girls at all times in their interactions. This was a hard lesson for me to learn. When I finally accepted that a guy friend might, at some point, begin to have interest in being more than just friends, my world was turned upside down. Then my logical brain began to over-apply this new understanding in guy-friend situations. My logical brain started assuming or wondering if every guy friend had ulterior motives. My crazy, logical brain began making me think it would be a good idea to confront these "grey area" guy friends to find out which pattern of behavior applied to them. This was not pretty. Let’s just say that I’m glad to have this period of craziness far behind me. For those of you who are thinking of confronting most all of your opposite gender friends and asking them something like, “So are we just friends, or are you into me?”— THINK AGAIN! I got a whole lot of mixed responses. Each individual situation was different than I’d expected it to be. And in the end, I just stirred up a whole lot of trouble.

Life has gone on for some time now, and the dust has settled. My wisdom and maturity in these situations (neither of which came easily), has taught me that actions speak louder than words. If a boy is my friend and I’m curious to know what his motives are, time will tell. If I like a boy and he’s not asking me out on dates, but wanting to spend time with me, he’s interested in being friends. If a gal pal seems shady to me, she will continue to step over me to get what she needs over time, and my brain will shut her off. If I wonder which friends from my past really care about me, they will call, write, stop by, or make efforts to keep in touch. People are smart, but they’re still people. They will ultimately end up acting out what they feel, whether or not it’s the way we want them to feel— and there’s not a darn thing we can do about it!

Taken

2009-03-25T19:55:00.005-06:00

About 3 weeks ago, I went with a few of my friends to see the movie "Taken." It is an action/thriller movie that I wouldn't recommend to anyone who has feelings. Just to give credit where credit is due... the movie has a well-developed plot, good actors, and kept me on the edge of my seat. But it scared me to death! I lied awake in my bed until 4 am after returning from the movie! 4 am, I tell you! It probably didn't help that my super sensitive guy friends kept emphasizing how worried I should be about have a similar experience in Europe. Bless their hearts...

All this to say, that what I'm about to write has nothing to do with this movie. It just happened to be a coincidence that the title of the movie and the title of my post are the same. See the movie, or don't— I really don't care.

However, I do car about THIS:

This guy— taken.

It is not fair that a boy this cute, this talented, this nice it THIS TAKEN. But for what it's worth, my dad told me I'm cuter than his wife. Nothing like a completely unbiased opinion to make you feel better. I ask you America, is it fair that we let this boy win when he's taken? How many 14-year-old girls will go crush-less if the next American Idol is a married man? We can't let this happen! David Archeleta is so Season 7. Not to mention, WAY too young for me to have had a crush on last year. And so, I ask for you help in my venture to get a legally crush-able American Idol. It's been too long, and together... we CAN do this!

Since I honor the bonds of marriage and all that, I present to you my Plan B:

I know, my last post gave the impression that being a Plan B was a bad thing. But that doesn't apply to Hollywood scenarios. Plus, I figure since I'll never actually meet Anoop and have to tell him to his face that he was my Plan B celebrity crush, he won't feel too bad. Win-win.

But now you have an idea of what I'm looking for. You can see that I'm not too picky. I'm simply looking for someone with star potential, someone who I can admire from afar by way of Fox broadcasting. But hey, if I happen to meet a boy this endearing in real life... even better!

Airing of Grievances

2009-03-24T23:06:00.004-06:00

[and not in the Sienfeld way]

Not to complain... BUT....

I have to say, that the older I get, and the more dating I do, the more I'm convinced that 90% of the male population are complete idiots! I have been conducting a study since I was 16, and I have the data to prove it.. in the form of journal entries, blog posts, and recurring conversations (which seem to be entertaining to everyone but me)! No, but really. Not a day goes by that I am not surprised at the idiocy of some male(s) in my life. Not pleasantly surprised, but shocked and appalled-surprised. I often find myself using the following phrase from one of my most beloved movies, "Just when I think you couldn't possibly do anything dumber, you go and do something like this..." Of course, I can't use the last part of that quote, "... and totally redeem yourself!"— because, sadly, it never applies to real life.

Yes, cute, good, fun, smart boy— you should totally marry that girl with no heart, who makes small children cry with a single glance, who can't keep friends, who has big hair (should I go on?), instead of my nice, warm, friendly, beautiful friend. I hope you enjoy a very miserable life being slave to your wife who can't carry a conversation in a bucket. Makes sense, right? Wrong!

Oh, and yes guy friend— you should totally date girls with issues GALORE because their good looks and dynamite wardrobes make up for the fact that they lack confidence, goals, motivation, and brains. I sincerely hope you enjoy talking about "Twilight" and how she shouldn't have gorged on that half cup of broccoli for dinner. What stimulating conversation that must make.

And, finally (thank heavens)... Yes, boy I have a crush on— you should definitely call me "friend" as often as you can. I love the resonating ring of that word in my ears. And you should probably continue to talk to me about other girls, while flirting with me and consuming all of my precious time. That's what every girls wants— to be somebody's Plan B.

[SIGH]

Turns out I should be banned from blogging when I'm sleep deprived and over-worked. But there you have it. Raw, unfiltered, unedited thoughts from yours truly.

Go hug your spouse. And then write them a "Thank You" letter for taking you out of your dating misery. And if they happen to be in the 10% of males who aren't idiots, give them my congratulations! They are fighting a losing battle.

[I promise to make my next post a more positive one. Probably.]

Others' Words

2009-03-23T20:27:00.004-06:00

I got bored of work tonight, so I decided to create "pictures" of some of my favorite sayings. Enjoy.

Conversations with Norm

2009-03-19T23:14:00.003-06:00

Last night some friends of mine were hosting a dessert party. I reluctantly decided that I'd better stop by for at least an hour, so I could claim that I was social this week. I was headed out the door of my parents' house and I called, "See ya. I'm going to get myself a boyfriend." To my surprise, Norm replied, "Yeah right." I stopped dead in my tracks, turned to him and exclaimed, "Excuse me!" He must have felt the need to clarify because his closing statement was, "You're too picky." [Door slams]

The End

Afterword: Incidentally, I did not get myself a boyfriend at the party. There are good reasons, however. Unfortunately, I am too tired to justify the circumstances.

They're Not Always Just Words

2009-03-09T12:56:00.004-06:00

It seems like being in the single scene means always seeking approval of people around you. You want boys to approve your looks and personality so they'll ask you out. You want girls to approve your looks and personality, as well, so you'll have friends to do fun things with. You also want girls to approve your fashion sense. For some reason, an awful lot of energy, time, and money is spent on your "style" when you don't have a home, husband, or kids to spend the energy, time, and money on. I know that this hobby isn't entirely good, but it's a hobby, none-the-less.

Living in a single community allows you to frequently be surrounded by or exposed to the same large mass of people. Sometimes this is your ward, sometimes it's just a group of people who all live in the same area. As you prepare your attractiveness and personality and then take them on display to this group, you can soon rate yourself according to the "feedback" given by those around you. Girls give verbal feedback: "I like your hair like that." "Where did you get your dress?" "You look cute today." Receiving a series of three or more comments like these means that you've struck gold with the outfit, make up, hair-do, or overall fashion sense for that day. Why can't you count one or two compliments as an A+, you night ask? Because girls often say things just to say things; they say things they don't really mean. It took me a long time to realize this. I thought for a few months in college that I must have been really, ridiculously good-looking because a certain gal pal of mine told me how "beautiful" I looked EVERY time she saw me. This was not the case. Sure, I had cute days here and there. But c'mon, I was in college with many a late night that I know did not have positive effects on my face the next day. But many girls think that "You look cute," is synonymous for "Hello," "How are you?" or "Are you ready to go to class?" Girls.... don't believe everything they tell you. But not all compliments are insincere. There are plenty of women who give sincere compliments. These are almost as fun to give as to get. :)

After years of being in the compliment-ridden social scene, I have changed my mind about what I like to hear from or tell people. Yes, I'm a girl, and it's always nice to have your hair or outfit complimented. And it's hard not to want to tell a girl what a cute purse she has, how cute her tights look with her skirt, or how her new haircut makes her look younger. Everyone enjoys sharing these kinds of compliments. But sincere, heartfelt feedback from someone your respect, admire, or hardly even know can go much further and have a longer-lasting impact on someone's confidence.

I have been told a lot of heartfelt things in my life. Not all of them were positive. As a teacher, I had parents express concern for a way that I chose to do something in my classroom. These moments were always hard, but I was always grateful for their honesty in the end. I was glad that they felt like I was someone who they could talk to about something critical and potentially hurtful. I'm grateful for a mom, sisters, and friends who have told me when I look like a clown in an outfit, hairstyle, or color of makeup. This has prevented a lot of future embarrassment. It takes a lot of courage for someone to tell you the truth when they know the truth may hurt you. I admire people who are able to do that.

As I've gone through life the past few months and "rated" myself according to feedback and comments that people have given me, I've learned some interesting things. I've learned that being told I look cute is nice but has no lasting effect. These comments are forgotten soon after they are shared. I have learned being told I was "interesting" by a girl I don't know well, but respect very much, had an unexpected positive effect on me. It made me curious at first, then reassured me that there are people out there who can appreciate loud, out-spoken, quirky personalities. I learned that I would rather be labeled as smart by a boy than any other adjective. This means that they have taken the time to look past physical appearances, and personality quirks to note things about me that I pride spending my efforts on.

It's interesting how much stock we put in to what people think of us. And honestly, I'm sure that it often makes Heavenly Father sad that we let other people effect our opinions of ourselves. But it's probably something that we'll always battle. And by "we," I mostly mean women. My entire mood or outcome of my day can be determined by what people say to me, about me. It seems like an awfully self-centered way to live my life, as I stop to think about it. I'm glad I came to this realization (as I'm writing). What a great reminder to focus on the things that really matter... and not fear the judgement of man.

This is such a modge-podge, random post. But can think of no fluid form in which to present these ideas. Sorry :)

So I declare today, "Give Someone a Sincere Compliment Day!" You never know the effect (for good or bad) that you might have on someone with the words you use.

Europa or Bust!

2009-03-04T23:47:00.005-07:00

I am twenty-five years old and I have never left the country. I have always wanted to. In fact, there have been times when I've wanted to flee the country. But I've always been so busy being an adult, focusing on school, trying to get ahead at work, that I haven't dared take the risk of going on a trip to Europe.
BUT.... I did it. I purchased plane tickets to Frankfurt. I am leaving May 23rd and returning three weeks later. I feel really lucky to be able to take this trip and to have an employer who is willing to work with me on this. Yes, it is going to be a big pain in the butt to work holidays and weekends to earn this privilege... but it will be totally worth it! Plus I have to work overtime anyhow these days to make a deadline in 3 weeks. So, win-win, I think.

My friend and I have said for years now that we would go to Europe as soon as we were both graduated from college. He graduates this May, so off we go! A third friend joined in on our plan, as well, last year. I have been good friends with both of these boys for years, so it will be very fun, very comfortable, and hopefully very safe (I'll be the one protecting them, of course). They're great, I promise. If you don't believe me, these pictures speak for themselves:

I can't think of anything better than spending my 26th birthday in Italy with two of my very best friends! Now I just have to mentally prepare myself for hostiles and germ-ridden, busy cities... yikes! {What was I thinking?}

Way Funner!

2009-03-03T22:52:00.003-07:00

I can't tell you how many times during the week I find myself wondering, "Do blondes have more fun?" I wonder each time I do my blondish-brownish hair. Maybe that's the missing piece... blonde!

Someday My Prince Will... Grow?

2009-02-24T21:30:00.005-07:00

Being the only single sibling on Valentine's Day has its advantages. For the past few years, my sister in Nevada has sent me prize each Valentine's Day with a note to let me know that she's thinking of me. This year she went all out and sent me a Valentine's Day survival package.

The card said, "Someday Your Prince Will Come."

I told my nephews that my boyfriend came in the mail. Yes, I lied to them. But they played along with it, so I figure it's okay. Apparently they haven't seen any real prospects for a new uncle coming around lately, because they really took to the idea of this mail-order boyfriend.

It was a frog that I had to kiss and then soak in water to watch him turn into a prince.

And over the course of 72 hours he would grow.

Even Miss A got in on the excitement.

The irony of the whole situation is that is was supposed to be simple;

a JUST ADD WATER BOYFRIEND.

The instructions said that within minutes, the frog should start to transform into a prince. After about 10 minutes of waiting, a loving family member joked

that I probably didn't read the instructions correctly, just like my real dating life.

Well, it's true. I missed a step (just like in my real dating life- or at least it feels that way.)

Once I figured out what I was doing wrong, the frog began to turn into a prince.

And over the course of the next 72 hours, he reached the height of four inches.

Which is also ironic because that's the average height of the boys I date.

Wow! There are so many parallels I could draw from this experiment.

But I won't because they'll all be of a mocking, sarcastic nature.

And as the boys tell me, if I weren't so sarcastic, they would ask me out. :)

I would post a picture of the final product, but my story isn't finished yet.

I have yet to find the frog that I think is a prince.

As soon as I do, I will post a picture of the actual frog-turned-prince.

But don't hold your breath...

who knows if blogging will still be the trend by the time this happens.

This Girl Knows How to Throw a Party!

2009-02-19T18:20:00.004-07:00

It was my friend Michelle's 25th birthday yesterday. She threw a great party. But not just any party... a MUSTACHE-themed party! Why the heck not?

May you always be able to grow a mustache

when the need arises!

Puffy Eyes

2009-02-17T12:23:00.002-07:00

I'm having a hard time concentrating at work today... which is why I'm posting this. I'm convinced that I'll get this out of my mind and be able to move on.

I have very red and puffy eyes today, with dark circles to accompany the puffiness. There are few times in my life that I can ever remember sobbing. I did last night. I have a dear friend from my ward who wrote me to tell me that they no longer believe in things that they have believed in their whole life. They have chosen to give up a lifestyle and system of beliefs that have been central to their life for 27 years. I happen to share the same lifestyle and system of beliefs. I know how much it means to me... and how much it had meant to this person. My heart hurts for this person.

Buggy Buggerson

2009-02-16T00:20:00.004-07:00

I have been tagged by my friend and co-worker, Natalie. Here are 10 things that BUG me:

1. Early morning chatters

2. Slow drivers in the passing lane

3. Email forwards that aren't side-splittingly funny (So, most of them)

4. Missed calls with no voicemail (Do I call back or not?!?)

5. Talks in Sacrament Meeting that go overtime

6. PowerPoints in a Sunday School lesson (C'mon, is it really that necessary?)

7. When people who I've just met call me by a nickname (That is a right to be earned)

8. People who smile and talk to you, even though you know they don't like you (Just don't talk to me at all- I'm totally cool with that)

9. Clingy people

10. When friends start saying or doing things that I usually say or do (I know this is caddy, but it feels like they're sucking energy from my personality- Imitation is not the most sincere form of flattery. Be yourself.)

11. I know it's only supposed to be ten, but after I finished, I thought of something that trumps all the others: The incorrect use of the apostrophe ('). Use it for possessive plurals, not just plurals.

Correct Example: That is the cat's ball of yarn.

Incorrect example: There are three cat's in the front yard.

TAG!

Marcie, Michelle A., Michelle B., Hollie, Lindsay and anyone else who needs to get a thing or two off their chest.

I feel much better now, thank you.

Dating Advice From the 4th Grade

2009-02-09T21:55:00.003-07:00

Last year when I was teaching 4th grade, during a girls' lunch, I had all my decorative paper, scissors, stickers, and markers out for some project. The girls knew that another teacher at the school and I were throwing a party that weekend. They asked if they use the supplies to make signs or pictures for the party. I agreed. However, they decided to use their time creating books.... of DATING ADVICE. I just rediscovered these today and they made me laugh again. They are hilarious! Below, I have included some of the most creative or more disillusioned lists (with the actual spelling and punctuation used) for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

Rules to Get Ready For A Date

#1 Do not wear to much make up or you'll look like a clown

#2 Be your self other wise you'll get dumped on the first date

#3 Pick the best outfit that fits you

don't wear things that make you uncomfortable other wise the date will go horrible

#4 Before you go on your date pack some emergency backup food incase you have the food

Hope you have a blast!

What A Girl Wants In A Guy. . .

honesty
complements
same likings
Funny
kind
Great Personality
Strong
Good Looking
smart (not a nerd)
Awesome smile
Nice to everyone
Dessert, Dinner, movies, beach

Date Ideas

Go to a remantic movie.
Act like you hate your outfit & he will feal sorry for you & buy you a new outfit
Ask him to take you to a dance & maybe he will kiss you!!

How To Fall In Love!

1) You have to be pretty

2) Wear makeup

3) laugh, even if it is not funny

4) Go on lots of dates

5) Kiss them when you feel like it. (JK)

6) Be nice to each other

7) Smile all the time

8) At a restaurant chew with your mouth closed!!!!!!!

What NOT to do on a date

1) Don't spill your food.

2) Always smile

3) Wear your date's favorite color/style

4) Keep a conversation going

5) If you get bored, don't date again or pick a more exciting date.

Movies to watch with a boy!
1) Becoming Jane
2) Princess diaries 1 or 2
3) Never been kissed
4) How to lose a guy in 10 days
5) Aqumariene
I hope you like eachother!!!

How to fall in love
a) Let the girl help decide on the date
b) Kiss at least 1x per date
c) Ask them on a date at least 1 week ahead of the actual date
d) Never ask them on the phone- do it face to face
For Boys

Rules To Go on A Date With Miss H
Make sure you wear a green tie
Shes really picky so get her the right food.
never talk about boy stuff.
Talk about how beautiful she is.
never ever eat while talking.
your hair has to be right
smile dont frown
Make her laugh
Give her chocolate
TAKE HER TO MEET THE JAZZ BEAR!
JUST HAVE FUN!
have my teacher married by the end of the year!

May you all find LOVE (of some kind) this Valentine's Day!!

Not My Boyfriend

2009-02-03T21:20:00.005-07:00

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I have decided to compose a post on dating. Well, kind of. I have been questioned by a lot of people about my dating life lately. So, to answer your questions, the following boys are NOT my boyfriend.

Here's to being one of the guys!

(and most likely alone for the rest of my life)

Happy Valentine's Day!

It Could Be Worse

2009-02-02T23:05:00.004-07:00

This is a very timely post. I had actually drafted this post last week and intended on posting it tonight. Today at work, some of my co-workers and friends were laid off. This post is not in relation to that event.

From 1935–1944, the Farm Security Administration (FSA)-Office of War Information (OWI) took on an extensive U.S. government photography project. This project was a pictorial record of American life during these years. In total, the collection consists of approximately 171,000 black-and-white film negatives, 107,000 black-and-white photographic prints, and 1,610 color transparencies. I had never heard about this collection until I was doing research for work a couple months ago. I felt like I had won the lottery once I discovered the photos available from the Library of Congress Web site. I spent hours perusing the images. Below are some of the most famous images that were photographed by Dorthea Lange. I know you'll recognize the first photo. Last week as I was thinking about friends and loved ones who are going through difficult financial times, the image of this mother's face kept coming to my mind. It could be worse...

Caption: Destitute peapickers in California;

a 32 year old mother of seven children. February 1936.

Mother's name: Florence Owens Thompson

Caption: These people had just sold their tent in order to buy food.

Most of the 2,500 people in this camp were destitute.

In 1960, Lange gave this account of her experience:

I saw and approached the hungry and desperate mother, as if drawn by a magnet. I do not remember how I explained my presence of my camera to her, but I do remember she asked me no questions. I made five exposures, working closer and closer from the same direction. I did not ask her name or her history. She told me her age, that she was thirty-two. She said that they had been living on frozen vegetables from the surrounding fields, and birds that the children killed. She had just sold the tires from her car to buy food. There she sat in that lean-to tent with her children huddled around her, and seemed to know that my pictures might help her, and so she helped me. There was a sort of equality about it.

Carl Malone's Gotta Do What Carl Malone's Gotta Do

2009-01-29T22:57:00.003-07:00

Disappearing Act

2009-01-25T16:30:00.002-07:00

So my background for my blog disappeared. I did some research and it turns out that the host site (cutestblogontheblock.com) has exceeded their bandwidth limit in photobucket. I could change by background to another one that's not having this problem... but I really like that one, and only that one. So, sorry that you have to view a bare blog. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be up and running soon.

Tagged by Marcie

2009-01-24T15:22:00.002-07:00

Six Names That You Go By:

1. Megan

2. Meg

3. Miss Megan

4. Megsie

5. Megs'n Bacon

6. See post "A rose by any other name..." below

Three Things That You're Wearing Right Now:

1. Glasses

2. Ralph Lauren perfume

3. Monkey slippers

(Though these aren't the only 3 things)

Two Things You Want Very Badly at the Moment:

1. My own house

2. A date with Kyle Korver

Three People Who Will Fill This Out:

1. Michelle A.

2. Natalie

3. Hollie (if I beg)

Three Things You Did Last Night:

1. Braided Kenna's hair

2. Played Hide'n Seek in the dark

3. Watched Looney Tunes

Four Things You Ate Today:

1. Oatmeal

2. Muddy Buddies

3. Cadbury eggs

4. More Cadbury eggs & Muddy Buddies

Two People You Last Talked to on the Phone:

1. Marcie

2. Lara

Six Things You Will Do Tomorrow:

1. It's a Sunday, so I'll do my hair

2. Play hangman in Sunday School

3. Take a Sunday nap

4. Play with my nieces and nephews

5. Plan a trip to Europe

6. Stay up ridiculously late

Three Favorite Beverages:

1-3. Water (to make up for all the chocolate I eat)

Five Things Your Are Grateful For:

1. Cadbury Eggs

2. My family

3. My friends

4. A job

5. A warm, down comforter

Virgin Mary Toast. Jesus Cracker.

2009-01-23T17:34:00.003-07:00

A few years ago, I saw something on the news about a special piece of toast that was posted for sale on ebay. It wasn't the type of bread used that made the toast so special. It wasn't the owner of the toast. It was the special image that managed to find its way onto the toasted surface of the piece of bread. You see, after the bread was toasted, an image of the virgin Mary appeared in the shading of the toasted portions of the bread. I couldn't see it. But apparently she was there, because thousands of either people saw the image, deemed the toast as spectacular, and placed their bids on ebay. I never did hear how much the toast went for.

And so, in honor of the virgin Mary toast, I present to you my Jesus Cracker. Sure, it's a whole wheat Ritz cracker. But look a little closer and I think you'll see what I'm talking about...

(Yes, it came this way, right out the package.)

Let the bids begin! I'm not sure what to start the bidding at... how much is your salvation worth?

I Left the Gun and Took the Canoli

2009-01-23T17:26:00.005-07:00

Last weekend my friend and I made a quick getaway to St. George for the weekend. Her parents happen to own a very nice house down there and we happen to take advantage of it as often as we can. We have been five times in the past nine months, but this was the first time we went with just the two of us. Our goal was to read, watch The Godfather, shop, sleep, and wear no makeup for the weekend. After stopping at a couple different Davis County Libraries to get some good books on tape for the drive, we grabbed a smoothie, some chocolate chip cookies, and we were off! We didn't get there until late Friday night. We slept in on Saturday so that we'd have the energy needed to shop the day away, which we did. My friend taught me how to shop at TJ Max'n More. I feel like I'm on the verge of having a panic attack anytime I step foot into a TJ Max or Ross. I don't even know where to begin! But she reassured me that the "'n More" in the title meant that it was a cut above other TJ Max stores. Whether the "n More" had anything to do with it or not, I managed to find some really great things... that I didn't necessarily need.

That night we grabbed some dinner and popped in the first disc of The Godfather. Neither of us had seen any of the Godfather movies, and we decided it was time to see what all the fuss is about. Can I just say, that I finally see what all the fuss is about... Al Pacino was HOT when he was young!! However, had I known that Diane Keaton was in the movie, I wouldn't have bothered. She makes my skin crawl.

Sunday consisted of church with a Samoan choir, a picnic lunch out at some canyon, reading, and the last 2 Godfather movies. Well, at least the 2nd Godfather movie and a few minutes of the 3rd. All of the movies are pretty violent, but the third is the only movie that is set in more contemporary times. I think it got a little too violent and was a little too real with the setting. We shut it off about 15 minutes into the movie... and now I will never know what happens to the Godfather. If you know, PLEASE tell me what happens in the last movie!! All I know is that they made Al Pacino look old and he wasn't hot at all. Perhaps that's why we really turned the movie off.

Monday we slept in to try to counter the effects of the conversation that ran into the wee hours of the morning. We cleaned the house and headed for home. I think we were both secretly excited to leave so that we could finish our book on tape that we'd started on the way down.

I learned a lot that weekend.

I learned to leave the gun and take the Canoli.

I learned that if you anger a mob head, he will kill your $350,000 horse and put its head in your bed while you're sleeping.

I learned that actors that I find attractive now, will someday be unappealing to future generations.

I learned that Al Pacino was really hot when he was young. I don't know if I'd mentioned that already.

I learned that any male looks awesome in a pin strip, 5-button suit with a hat.

I learned to go to the mattresses when things get tough.

I learned to be leery of a brother who claims to have forgiven me for attempting to murder him because he might send me out on a fishing boat with a hitman. He is, after all, a mob head.

I learned that Diane Keaton bugs me whether she's a blonde or a brunette.

I learned that I don't want to marry into the Italian mafia, after all.

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet...

2009-01-22T12:59:00.003-07:00

Over the years, I have been called a great many things. Some of my nicknames have been terms of endearment and some have been adjectives or names that I never wish to hear again. However, it's the labels that have been given to me by my nieces and nephews in recent years that have been my favorite! I have been everything from a breakfast food to an adjective that means emitting a strong or unpleasant odor.

Here are some of the many pronunciations of my name, Megan:

(spelled phonetically for your sake)

Nay-nee

Bacon

Gay-guhn

May-nee

Me-me

May-me

Me-kuhn

Meggy

May-tuhn

May-nuhn

Stinky- I know, it sounds nothing like my name. Odd, isn't it? :)

For Singles... Mostly.

2009-01-20T11:29:00.004-07:00

A friend of mine shared this link with me. I got a huge kick out of reading the posts. It is VERY much appreciated by single people who deal with some of these comical issues every day. It is appreciated by married people, as well. It serves as a reminder of why they should be grateful they don't have to date anymore. The blog has created quite a stir. From what I can gather, it's penned by two single males who may or may not live in Utah, and are most likely graduates from BYU in Provo. A lot of angry people leave comments, which is mostly why I love it. Controversy is so entertaining.

2008 Was Pretty Great... 2009 Should Be Just Fine.

2009-01-05T22:57:00.015-07:00

If I'm being completely honest, 2008 was more strange than great... but it's hard to find a synonym for strange that rhymes with eight. So there you go.

Here are some highlights from 2008:

January 2008

Okay, not a good start. If I'm being completely honest (again), nothing from this month really stands out in my memory. I had returned to teaching 4th great after a fabulous Christmas break and was at the point in my career where I was seriously contemplating trying something other than teaching for the first time.

February 2008

I went to St. George with two of my good friends. The reason this trip stands out so much is because it was on this trip that I saw a chick flick... on opening night... for the first time. This was, of course, not by choice. But it was certainly a good learning experience for me. I learned that I still don't like chick flicks.

I had roses delivered to my classroom on Valentine's Day; my first ever Valentine's roses! It caused quite a stir with my students when I read the note that accompanied the flowers: From someone who loves and admires you very much! I didn't have the heart to tell them that they were from my sister. :)

March 2008

I went back to St. George with a few friends where I got my first third degree sunburn of 2008. I also discovered that I am a head stand champion... and I still reign as such to this day!

Oh, I also began the interview process with the company that I now work for.

I began working out with a personal trainer... that didn't last long.

April 2008

My then fourth grade team produced our 4th Grade Program all about Utah. It took months and months of preparation, but was worth every minute. My cute blog friend and parent of a former student came one Friday afternoon to help us paint huge plywood props for the program. Bless her heart, she was the only parent that showed up! I would have died without her that year!

I accepted a job position with the company that I currently work for.

I had a student fall asleep in class for the first time! I made the class work on something quietly so he could keep resting.

May 2008

I had my very first pedicure.

I threw a HUGE, KILLER garden party with my best friends. We hung Chinese lanterns all over the yard... I've always wanted to have a party decorated with Chinese lanterns!

I ended my third and final year of teaching school.

I attended a swim party with some of my students.

June 2008

I went to San Diego with three of my best friends and became more sick than I have been in years. I missed my returning flight home and spent the night in a dirty, cramped airport on a sticky McDonald's bench, next to the dumpster. I stayed awake the entire night for the first time in my life.

I turned 25. I treated myself to an entire day at the spa.

I began working for the publishing company.

I bought a Mac. I will never go back.

My friends and I purchased Lagoon season passes and formed the "Lagoonies."

July 2008

I finally bought a decent camera so that I could take better pictures of all my adorable nephews and nieces.

I rode the Front Runner for the first time with my friend Jared and we somehow got lost... in Salt Lake!!

I went to The Police concert with my friend Robbie.

I went to the John Mayer concert with my friend Collin.

August 2008

I went to Flaming Gorge with my ward where we got rained out. I won "King of the Hill" while being pulled on a tube behind a boat for the first time!

I saw the MPH gauge on my car reach over 110 for the first AND last time ever.

I stopped working out with a personal trainer.

September 2008

I went to Star Valley with some of my closest friends... where I realized that I'd rather travel with my friends than with a boyfriend.

I finally found a pair of jeans that I like! :)

October 2008

I went to St. George again with a couple friends and saw Metro Station in concert.... and learned that I don't care for Metro Station as much as I thought I did.

I discovered that neon colors are "hip," yet again.

I became the proud owner of a fog machine.

My friends and I threw a kick-A Halloween party where I debuted my adorable witch costume made by my sister and began having a huge crush on a boy.... a crush that would continue for months to come. Also, most of my friends dressed up as gay tennis players. I don't get it either.

November 2008

I saw the midnight showing of "Twilight" as a favor for my best friend. I hated it.

I began a three week hobby in digital scrapbooking.

I began to notice the effects of not working out with a personal trainer... or at all. Yikes!

December 2008

I got to spend time with my very best friends!!

I witnessed the square that bounces around the screen saver bounce RIGHT into the corner of the screen!

I played Joseph in our family nativity skit.

I ended the year very, very blessed with a great family, loving friends, and my health. I made it!!

A Little Bit Goes a Long Way

2008-12-26T01:07:00.007-07:00

This cute boy sitting on my lap is one of my nephews. He happens to be the nephew who made my Christmas this year. :)

Like any single person, there are aspects of Christmas that I dread every year. I love the season, the shopping, the food, and the family. But sometimes the family parties, and other parties, can be painful to get through. I have been the only single sibling in my family for 7 or 8 years now and I feel like this year was the first year that I felt okay about braving another Christmas Eve alone. Some of my nieces and nephews are a little older now and keep me company at the parties, that helps a whole lot.

This Christmas Eve, the nephew pictured above showed up at my parents' house and marched straight downstairs towards me, with a little green box in his hand. He said, "This is for you, Megan." And he handed me the box. I've never received a Christmas gift from a niece of nephew before because they're all pretty young. They're just learning to get gifts for their siblings and a cousin whose name they draw. So the single act of him giving me a gift melted my heart right then and there. I gave him a big squeeze and told him that I loved him. He ran off to play with his cousins.

After he walked away his mom told me that when they were at Target a few weeks ago, my nephew had seen this gift and mentioned to his mom that it would be something that I would like. Even though I wasn't on his list of people to shop for, he decided to get the gift for me and pay for it with his own money. He is only five, so you can imagine that he doesn't have much of his own money to begin with.

At the end of the evening's festivities, after all the kids had opened their presents, I opened my gift from my nephew. Inside the box were two pairs of mittens. They DID look like something that I would like. In fact, I had seen them myself at Target and commented on how cute they were to my friend. My nephew was so excited about his gift for me. His little tender heart understands at a young age how good it feels to do things for other people. He has no idea how much his little act meant to me. I get choked up every time I think about it or brag to my friends about my new mittens. It just goes to show that a little bit can go a long way!