My thoughts are pretty scattered and they're floating all around in my head....
When you get to be my age (not that I consider myself terribly old) you tend to have a rather extensive dating history. It's a natural result of living in a dating-oriented society. I don't feel bad for having A LOT of dating history. However, I do start to wonder if I should feel bad about some of the feedback I get from members of the opposite gender. After years I'm still hearing some of the same comments from boys. There were two, in particular, in the last two days that have spurred my current train of thoughts. However, if you care to read on, you'll find that I'm clearly not at fault for my dating experiences gone awry.
Let me start by informing the world (because I'm sure the whole world reads my blog) that facebook chat or any other form of chat, for that matter, does not qualify as actual, legitimate communication with members of the opposite gender that you may have interest in! No! It does not ever, ever, ever count! Come on boys... stop being a bunch of pansies. And while I'm on the subject, don't EVER ask a girl out via text message. Don't "chat" with her via text message to "get to know her." Pick up the dang phone, dial the seven digits (more in some cases), ask the girl on a date, be sure to use the word "DATE", PLAN something, pick her up, talk to her in person to get to know her, wash, rinse, and repeat. Seriously though... come on. When did we become a generation of socially inept individuals?! Okay... now that I've got that off my chest...
A boy was "chatting" with me online yesterday via facebook chat during a break at work. This boy and I have been in the same ward for some time. We chat every now and then in person and chat once in a while on facebook when we're both pretending to work. After a stimulating conversation about mullets or something along those lines he throws out the line, "You know, it's your sarcasm that's prevented me from asking you out." No boy, I didn't know that. But thank you for typing that to me via facebook during the middle of my work day. And in case you were wondering, I never in a million years would have guessed that you were even remotely interested in going out with me. And if that conversation was your last ditch effort to get me to go out with you.... you failed. Miserably.
a) Why are we having this conversation online?
b) Why was this conversation so long in the making?
c) My sarcasm is one of my traits that I happen to be most fond of. Plus it's genetic (passed from my dad). So you might as well make fun of my other traits that I can't do a darn thing about. How about my shoe size... care to take a stab at that?
Next came my favorite part of the conversation... I was accused of running away from boys as soon as I sense that they might be interested in asking me out. I didn't know what to say to him about this and I still don't. If I do this, it's purely subconscious. My subconscious obviously doesn't want to go out with whatever boy triggers this act.
Fast forward to this afternoon, at work, also on facebook. A boy that I've known for a couple of years through mutual friends had the audacity to ask me why I'm still single. Obviously I don't know or I would fix the problem and no longer be single. Boys...
Then this boy tells me that I have what he called a fear of "Dating Buyer's Remorse." Naturally I had to inquire as to what that was just in case it's contagious. He said that I don't settle on or "buy" a boy to date because I'm afraid I will have feelings similar to buyer's remorse once I settle on one boy. I'm not sure, but I think he accused me of always wanting the bigger and better thing. Then he said I'm probably single because I haven't found the right lawyer, doctor, professional athlete yet. Yep, pretty sure he accused me of being shallow as well. And finally, the icing on the cake... he had the audacity to joke around about the two of us dating. You know what they say about boys who joke...
Later tonight came the coup de grace! I was at a Dessert Night get-together tonight with a couple of my friends. This Dessert Night is put on a few times a month by a group of boys who live in a house together. They used to host these parties about two years ago when I initially met them and they have just started hosting them again. I have known the boys who put these on for years now (in case you can't do the math). One of them tonight inquired as to whether or not I was dating someone. I informed him that I recently broke up with someone and he said he'd done the same. I guess that conversation must have had some hidden meaning that I'm not aware of because as soon as we both pronounced our single state, his tone changed. He was warmer, flirty, and suddenly felt the need to put his hand on the small of my back while talking to me. I have known him for years! Why now? Did he wake up this morning and decide, "I think I'll like Megan today"? Honestly. Then he informed me that a while ago (which was actually years ago) he had tried to TEXT me to ask me out. Can you believe it? A text. He told me that I was really rude to him. And I was kind enough to tell him that he deserved it. Keep in mind that he's not your 21-year-old that just returned from a mission and lacks social skills. He's 30 and he's very social. I sincerely hope that he does not text me a date invitation again... he does not know what he'll have coming.
All of these enlightening experiences have happened within a 30 hour period. Sadly, it's par for the course. Just imagine how lucky I am to do this day after day, year after year. Boys don't realize that I've been around a while; I have some idea of what I'm doing. None of this mediocre dating crap is going to fly with me. I pity the foo who asks me out via text message!!
16 comments:
Oh the days.
Do not change who you are period.
I love your wittyness and ability to stay true to who you are and what you want out of life.
Boys are typically very dumb - and that doesn't change when you marry them. So, it's kind-of like you get to pick the least dumb one you like and try your hardest to hope they train some manners into their behaviors after hmmmm, 20 or so years.
(PS)Phone calls are the only way to ask out. Anyone who is texting is insecure.
PS Again,
Sorry for the huge amount of spelling and gramatical errors. I am typing this while trying to eat some dry cereal at work for breakfast.
Apparently I can't multi-task.
Even though I am married, I very much found this post interesting and hilarious! Megan you are amazing... Why aren't you married again?? JK!!
I've been thinking we should start a club of cool girls who seem to attract really rude comments. This past summer I was told (on a first date no less) that I was "intimidating and a little scary." Yep. Stay strong Meg! I've really enjoyed your blog, it's not anything less than great.
First off I totally think that asking out via text message is so lame! I don't think you need to have interest in someone that can't even pick up the phone to have a real conversation with you. Whimps I say! I just think that the guys who say stuff like that are really insecure about themselves. Stay just the way you are because you are amazing!
I like dating posts because it is something I never do.
Count your blessings Megan, at least you're not involved in a polygamous relationship.
I'm in Centerville on Saturday. Wanna hang out?
Oh Megan, I do not envy you. Dating sucks. You should follow my lead and just give up on it all together. No, wait, then you may turn out like me too and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
Anyway, I've often been told the same things you're hearing - that I'm too sarcastic (which I take to mean that people are uneducated just don't understand my whit)and that I'm intimidating just because I'm not needy. But I believe that eventually even girls like us will find someone who loves us for who we are now, rather than who they think we might become.
And you're just too good for a guy that relies on his thumbs to get a date rather than his mouth. How's that for a visual?
I feel the same even though today's post may not reflect it
I pity the foo who jinxes your bowling game.
Meg! First off you are hillarious (I know this post isn't intended to be funny) - but I'm referring to you're posts in general. Second, no matter the age boys tend to be a little immature/insecure. Could it be the boys who are interested are afraid? Rejection for them may come easier by reading a text message-maybe this is why they resort to that. Who knows! But YES I agree - "just pick up the dang phone!"
Megan, I know I'm your sister so I am alittle bias but...you are not married because no one is good enough for you! Oh and maybe partly due to your sarcism. I agree Guys these day's are very lax when it comes to dating. I don't envy you at all. Think of it this way, you could be married to one of these idiot's, I say you've dodged a bullet.:) Call me later and fill me in on who these Dumb guys are.(sence I already know all there history.) But in all seriously, can I get a job at your work. I figure sence all you do is FB and blog, and that's all I do at home, I should at least try to make a little $$$ doing it.
love ya!
I'm very happy to have exited the dating world before text messaging and cell phones. Although I believe caller ID would have been handy. Oh well. Dating sucks. And sometimes marriage does too. But plenty of people live through both.
I like to think of sarcasm as a higher level of thinking. It turns really dumb people off. Think of it as a way to weed out the slow ones. But it also attracts really negative folks, which comes in handy when having a pity party but is annoying at a real celebration. I too have been told I'm too sarcastic and I use big words (I should have them read my blog, that will clear up any misconceptions they may have about me). But I've learned to take it as a compliment.I may not have many friends, but at least the ones I have get me.
I fear that in the technologically advanced age that it will only get worse. But it still shows a lack of class to not even talk to the person that you want to go out with. What are they thinking that in asking in a text that the entire date will transpire via a text back and forth but no interaction? I am so sorry that you have had such a fun last couple of days. DO NOT CHANGE A THING ABOUT YOURSELF!!!!! Hang in there!!! My only question is why are you hanging with these "boys"? You need a man and one that has already figured out who he is and not going to use you as someone to figure out what his future wife will and won't have. There are plenty of boys out there like that, but a man will not do that. I will be on the look out for you, there has got to be someone amazing on the horizon, that will be my prayer.
There are alot of J Hansen, but i had to tell you I love love love your blog!
FOURTEEN COMMENTS? FOURTEEN COMMENTS? Man, I feel pretty good if I get three! Wait, now this makes FIFTEEN! (insert sound of head being repeatedly rammed off refrigerator).
Oh...the "pity the foo" comment singlehandedly raises this post from "random dating rant" to "9.2 on the Sheer Awesomeness Scale". DON'T MESS WITH THE T!
Boys don't like girls who are better than them at video games.
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