Almost a Parent

No, this is not an announcement. I'm pretty sure you've got to kiss a boy or something along those lines to become a parent.

Anyway...

When I was in college I was a nanny of sorts for a family. Another girl about my age and I would take turns helping the mom with the kids on extra busy days or watching the kids on nights the parents had something. Over the years as I've become busy with a full time job and other things, the other nanny girl and I have stopped babysitting but have kept in touch with this cute family. I still take their kids every once in a while so the parents can have a date night and I can catch up with the kiddos. The other nanny girl does the same. Sometime over the course of the past few years the other girl got married and now has two kids. I didn't. This is confusing for the kids' little minds.

A few weeks ago I was watching the kiddos while the parents went to catch a flick. I was helping the five-year-old get his PJs on and get ready for bed. He looked at me and asked, "Are you a parent?" I took time explaining to him that I wasn't married like his other sitter that has kids, thus I had no children. 

He looked at me again and said, "So you're in high school?" 

"No, I've been out of high school for a while," I said.

"So you're in college?" he inquired.

"Um, no. I've been out of college for a little while. Now I go to a job all day," was my answer.

"And you have no kids?" he asked again, just to double check.

"Nope."

"Oh, I get it! You're almost a parent!" he exclaimed

"YES," I said. "I am almost a parent."

A couple weeks later, I was helping this same little boy put his PJs on again. We went through a similar dialogue. Except this time at the end of the conversation, he looked at me and said, "You're not married 'cuz you're saving your appetite for me, huh?" (while doing some sort of disco dance.) I could have died laughing. And then I felt bad, because he was completely serious. I grabbed his chubby cheeks, looked at him and said, "Yes. I want to marry someone exactly like you someday. Hopefully he'll be a  little closer to my age."

So although I don't have children to have given me cause to celebrate Mother's Day yesterday, I am almost a parent. So I almost celebrated. 

But to all of those actual mothers out there who raise these clever and entertaining children, thank you! Thank you for devoting your life to such a selfless, noble cause. And to all you Mother's Day greeting card writers who brought me to tears in the aisle at Walmart, I hate you. But I love my mother. She's not perfect, but she's better than any other mother I could have imagined. And she's a really great woman for putting up with me and loving me even after seeing me at my very worst... over, and over, and over. 

Happy belated Mother's Day, everyone!