Not to complain... BUT....
I have to say, that the older I get, and the more dating I do, the more I'm convinced that 90% of the male population are complete idiots! I have been conducting a study since I was 16, and I have the data to prove it.. in the form of journal entries, blog posts, and recurring conversations (which seem to be entertaining to everyone but me)! No, but really. Not a day goes by that I am not surprised at the idiocy of some male(s) in my life. Not pleasantly surprised, but shocked and appalled-surprised. I often find myself using the following phrase from one of my most beloved movies, "Just when I think you couldn't possibly do anything dumber, you go and do something like this..." Of course, I can't use the last part of that quote, "... and totally redeem yourself!"— because, sadly, it never applies to real life.
Yes, cute, good, fun, smart boy— you should totally marry that girl with no heart, who makes small children cry with a single glance, who can't keep friends, who has big hair (should I go on?), instead of my nice, warm, friendly, beautiful friend. I hope you enjoy a very miserable life being slave to your wife who can't carry a conversation in a bucket. Makes sense, right? Wrong!
Oh, and yes guy friend— you should totally date girls with issues GALORE because their good looks and dynamite wardrobes make up for the fact that they lack confidence, goals, motivation, and brains. I sincerely hope you enjoy talking about "Twilight" and how she shouldn't have gorged on that half cup of broccoli for dinner. What stimulating conversation that must make.
And, finally (thank heavens)... Yes, boy I have a crush on— you should definitely call me "friend" as often as you can. I love the resonating ring of that word in my ears. And you should probably continue to talk to me about other girls, while flirting with me and consuming all of my precious time. That's what every girls wants— to be somebody's Plan B.
[SIGH]
Turns out I should be banned from blogging when I'm sleep deprived and over-worked. But there you have it. Raw, unfiltered, unedited thoughts from yours truly.
Go hug your spouse. And then write them a "Thank You" letter for taking you out of your dating misery. And if they happen to be in the 10% of males who aren't idiots, give them my congratulations! They are fighting a losing battle.
[I promise to make my next post a more positive one. Probably.]
7 comments:
Amen Sister...I LOVE YOU! I love reading your blog. Truth be told, you make me think a lot more about my surroundings. From "fake" complimentary girls all the way down to idiotic men. Thank you for your refreshing candor!
I think I just peed...the Twilight part did it.
Are you implying that girls who love Twilight are shallow??? HA! Ok so I guess it is pretty lame, but sometimes a good escape from reality is nice every now and again. You seriously make me laugh everytime I read your blog. Maybe that is not your intention, but you freaking ROCK when it comes to stating the "facts of life."
Umm...so guys can still be dorks when you are married to them too. I think it may very well be a "guy" thing. But nonetheless, someday one of them will "totally redeem themselves" and win your heart.
Amen to "plan B." Why do they think that is even acceptable? It's rude.
I'm sorry for you dating woes. I still think you're beautiful and pretty stinkin' awesome.
AMEN!
What is up with guys not noticing great girls? Losers!
Hang in there, and keep writing great entries!
I want chocolate cake.
You are hilarious.
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