Dating Advice from the Non-Expert Dater

I often wonder why anyone would come to me for dating advice. Hello, I'm single and I've been that way for some time. I wonder why these friends don't go to married people, they're the ones who have mastered the art of dating. But then I remember the strange phenomenon of dating memory loss that married people experience not long after they've been married. I think they must be so happy they've finally found someone they love and can stand to spend their time with, that they block all of the horribly painful dating memories from their mind. I can't say I blame them. So that must be why single people don't often go to married friends for advice. That said, I'm still not the best option of someone to talk to. I subscribe to the "prepare for the worst and hope for the best" school of thought in dating. This means that I tell my friends worst-case scenario when they come to me with their dating woes. I also call this "telling it like it is," because more often than not, the worst case is what comes to pass in dating. Otherwise you wouldn't be dating- you'd be married. 

So here is some of the dating advice that I have given recently and some of the advice I give most frequently (both to myself and others.)

• If he's not asking you on dates, he's not interested in being more than friends. 
  
• If you're interested in him, and he's not asking you out, don't let him waste anymore of your time. We all need friends—so choose friends you're not having a one-sided crush on.
  
• She can't really be "busy" every time you try to take her out. She's avoiding going out with you.
  
• Actions speak louder than words. If she's keeps saying yes to going out with you, but acts distant, disinterested, or hard to read, she likes dates and not you.
• Someone who is really interested in you doesn't forget to call you or text you back. They will also initiate communication, not just respond to yours.
• Someone who is interested in you can always make time for you, no matter how busy they are.
• It's okay to give indicators that you're interested. Help the boy out. Bait the hook and walk away—let him do the initial legwork.
  
• Stop dating girls who don't have brains. I'm sick of hearing you complain. 
  
• Just ask her out. I don't care how scared you are or what other extraneous factors get in the way. Just ask her out, see how she reacts, and then you won't have to wonder.
  
• Date the type of people you want to marry. If you keep dating people who are emotional wrecks, you're going to end up marrying one.
  
• Make a personal connection with someone you're interested in during a conversation. Do more than laugh and joke with them. Everyone wants to feel like they can open up to people they're dating.
  
• Maybe don't ask girls out that you meet at your high school sister's ball games. Chances are they're in high school.
  
• Just do it—grow up and date. There are no excuses.
  

It's not always what we want to hear, but sometimes it's what we need to hear. Emotions can really get in the way of rational thinking (see previous post).