Decisions

I graduated from college with a Bachelor's degree four years ago. The same number of years that I spent in college. Four years ago... really? My life plan was to go straight into a graduate degree after a Bachelor's. But I got a degree in education instead of the subject listed in my life plan, so I thought I should put my degree to use for a year. One turned into two, then three. Then I was offered an amazing opportunity to work in publishing. Grad school was put on hold, yet again, while I checked this route out. I am really glad that I took the job I have now, I LOVE it. I loved teaching, too. But it sucked the life out of me. I miss it everyday, still. Well, I miss the kids. But I really, really, really enjoy what I do now. I consider that a huge blessing, because I know that isn't the case for many working adults.
So why can't I just be normal and keep enjoying doing just what I'm doing, like a normal person?! I'm starting to feel restless lately, and guilty for neglecting my goal of furthering my education. I have friends who are beginning and ending various graduate programs and I am green with envy as they tell me about all the exciting things they get to study. I'm not generally a jealous person, but it's BAD lately. Does that make me a huge nerd?!
I'm been looking into graduate programs at the U. Most programs I'm interesting in don't have spring semester start dates, only fall. That means I could potentially be getting excited for a program I won't begin for a year and a half. And who knows where I'll be in life at that point. The other two problems I'm running into are 1) What do I want to study? And 2) Do they offer classes at night? I do not want to leave my job; I'm really happy there. Can I do both? Can I have the best of both worlds, like Hannah Montana? I don't really have a choice because I need the income and the health insurance. Blah. And what on earth do I study?!
I have interests in everything from law to creative writing. The problem is, I don't have any strong traits/talents that would turn me toward a particular path. I have mostly been considering American History and Creative Writing. Those seem like things that could apply to my current profession, and they're both things that I really, really enjoy. I'm already starting to worry ... Can I remember all the names and dates in the history courses? Will I be able to come up with enough good ideas to complete a novel for the writing program? I'm not even in the programs and I'm already stressing!
BLAH! I don't even know what to do! I just want to have a goal, to be working toward something else. Had I known 4 years ago that I'd be basically in the same position today as I was then, I would have started a law degree. I'd be about done by now. Talk about kicking yourself. So I NEED to start... something... soon... hopefully before the fall of 2010. I need to do something with my life, take advantage of the "blessing of being single. I have no idea what I'm going to do, but I'm going to do something. I miss school!