Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Am I Too Picky?

This is for those loving friends and family members who tell me otherwise :)
The quiz results don't lie:

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.

But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right

You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.

You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

This is How I Roll

This is the pool where I spend my Saturday afternoons. More specifically, this is the Spring Float that I spend those afternoons on.
This is the giant tricycle that I once rode for the length of an entire DHS Homecoming Parade. Now it's a high force towing vehicle for pounds of crazy kids.

These are some of the crazy kids that I get the pleasure of being related to.

... And more of those crazy kids. Good luck getting the 3 of them to look at the camera at the same time!

This is what the Hansen Hair Salon looks like on a Sunday evening. Also doubles as black mail against my nephew when he's old enough to be embarrassed by this photo!

And THAT is how I roll......

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Young Again

So I was starting to feel old today. Well, not just today, but lately.  For some reason I felt especially old today. I came home fairly early last night; early enough that my mom knew I didn't go to any fireworks for the 24th of July. She said, "You're sure acting like an old fart for being so young." I'm just not as young as I used to be, it happens. 
So tonight I went with the boys to dinner and to see Batman (Which, by the way, scared me to death! But that's another post for another day.)  Jordo and I left the theater before the show started to get treats and we were outraged at the price of a bag of M & Ms at the theater! I'd have to mortgage my house (if I had one) to buy the treats I wanted. So we ran over to Target, bought four LARGE bags of M & Ms (one for each of us, of course) and some beef jerky and headed back to the theater. The movie ended and the night was fairly young so the boys came over to my house for our usual game of "Sit Around and Make Fun of Each Other." It's really a game, the rules aren't very complicated if you'd like to learn sometime. When I was sufficiently pissed off by the boys, I kicked them out. After they walked out the door I realized they'd each left their LARGE bags of M & Ms... on purpose! I picked them up and ran out the door after them. They ran to their car yelling "Get inside with your M & Ms before the Joker gets you!" I immediately turned around with my arms full of delicious chocolate goodness, ran back across the lawn and attempted to run up the steps, only to feel myself falling down hard on the concrete. I somehow managed to scrape up each and every side of my leg... which I'm sure is nothing short of a miracle if you look at the physics of the fall. The boys tore off in the car and I crawled into the house, grasping at the M & Ms and trying hard not to pee my pants. It was, after all, almost 2 am. 
I share this story because of the feeling I have now, after the fall. Do you remember that scraped knee, constant stinging feeling that you had ALL summer as a child? Well, I have that. At first it hurt and felt more like a pain, but now it's a constant reminder that I'm not as old as I feel sometimes. I can still have the same experiences I had as a kid, just in a bigger body :)

Friday, July 25, 2008

Then or Now?

I went to The Police concert last Saturday with a friend. I couldn't stop commenting on how good Sting looked for his age. I was even surprising myself each time I heard the comments come out of my mouth.... mostly because Sting was wearing a see-through, fish net-esque shirt and I've never been one to admire men in fish net shirts. ( I guess I've never really had the opportunity to... I wonder if they would grow on me...) Anyhow, my question to you is:
Was Sting better looking THEN (when The Police were releasing new, hit singles) or NOW ( when The Police are playing a reunion tour and their songs are mostly played on "Classic" or "We play the songs you grew up with" radio stations)???

I give you, Vintage Sting:

And now I give you, rugged old man Sting:

Although his face is blocked by a speaker in this first photo, you can see the shirt I mentioned previously that I have mixed feelings about.....

Friday, July 18, 2008

Where Did We Go Wrong?

Readers Beware: for those of you who prefer my light-hearted, sarcastic posts, this is not one. This post falls more on the "Heal the World" end of the spectrum. (And it's a long one)

I never get sick of this video! Not just because it's unbelievable and hilarious, but mostly for the point that it illustrates so well, a point that I will be addressing in this post. How did society (and public education) fail such a beautiful girl? Where is the missing link? Well, of course, I have a theory. A theory that might seem controversial... But hey, it's my blog, right? :) 

Somewhere along the line, we as an American society began to drastically lose sight of what is really important. Of course this has happened in many parts of life. But the strand of this disease that I think applies to beautiful little darlings like the one in the video, I call Beauty Blindness. I make no attempt to place blame for the epidemic of Beauty Blindness. It is a complex problem that has developed over the course of time. Thanks to media, and... well mainly media... and the voice of the evil one, the pure, traditional definition of BEAUTY that Mr. Webster himself probably had a hand in declaring has been corrupted. Beauty is now judged  on how our outward appearances compare to media's definition of beauty. We are now encouraged to prove our beauty with our outward, physical traits (lucky us). Very few people take the time to appreciate and credit the inner beauty that each human being naturally possesses. And let's be honest, VERY few people possess a natural outer beauty.... trust me, I battle this fact each morning! So it may seem that I've developed my ideas about Beauty Blindness because I feel inferior to society's definition of beauty. I guess that's partially true, who doesn't? My ideas on this subject and the reasons that I write this post stem from my everyday observations at how this problem plagues so many people that I know and love... most of which are women.

We read in the scriptures and the words of our modern day prophets that women have sacred and special responsibilities. We have specific and defined roles in building the kingdom of God. We are blessed with tender hearts that allow us to easily connect with just about any living thing on this earth. We are part of the largest women's organization in America. We have a place and a role in this world that is unique to each of us. How do we forget this and allow ourselves to fall into the trap of measuring our value by how we look, live, and act according to the world's standard? And for that matter, why are so many "good" women so critical of one another's appearances. Over the years I have had friends say things to me like: "I'm not as big as she is, am I?" "Why would she wear that shirt?" "If she can go out in a swim suit, anyone can." "She would never have a chance with him, she is not cute at all." There are times when I get caught up in the backbiting. But mostly it just makes me sad. We're all here for the same reason, we should all be invested in the same cause.

I recently went to an event where there were 10 or so girls that I went to high school with. All of the girls but 3 of us were married and have given birth to children. I walked in late, feeling nervous to see many people I hadn't seen in years. I entered and turned to a statue in the middle of the room as I felt 10 pairs of eyes watching my every move. I scoped out every girl there in a matter of nanoseconds. I felt my heart drop as I made the realization that I was by far the largest girl there... and I am not large! I am just normal!! In their defense, a couple of the girls have always been small and always will be- they're just built that way. But they were also all tan and all sorts of done-up. I felt my self-esteem drop 20 points and I left as fast as I could. I feel frustrated with myself that I let it bother me so much. I know better than to care about something so frivolous. But it fed the fire of things I had already been wondering... Why are so many moms today working so hard to live up to society's standards? This is a trend that I am seeing everywhere! It seems to be especially bad in Utah ( it pains me to admit that). Why?! Why are we forgetting? Why are we letting the judgments of the world override the importance of our duties as women,mothers, and friends?!  And equally as important, why aren't we putting that much effort into developing our talents, traits, qualities, friendships, callings, and minds? Case and Point: Miss South Carolina.

I once did a Cinderella birthday party for a stranger. I was easily, the biggest person there, again.  All of the beautiful, freakishly thin moms had joined the party only to leave me alone with the girls for two hours while they sat in the other room bragging about how they can't eat a cupcake because they'll have to run 2 more miles to burn off the calories if they did and "complaining" about the cost of their latest purchases. I wanted to slit my wrists. I was certain my IQ score had dropped many points just by overhearing the conversation.

TV, movies, magazines, etc. are all beginning to portray women as mindless beings who are only worth attention if they are "beautiful." I'd just like to give a shout out to girls like Paris, Lindsay, Jessica, Britney, Miley, and so on who have done nothing but hurt our cause. Luckily we know better. We are very blessed to have the whole picture.... with great privilege comes great responsibility. So here's to the hope and commitment that I will never become "that" mom or "that" girl. And if I do, please take me out of my misery!!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Disappointed Single Gal Seeks Non-Commital Coldplay Partner

Terribly good looking, moderately poor, single young lady seeks single, terribly handsome, financially stable young man to take her to the Coldplay concert this coming November. Tickets are being sold at an alarmingly high price. (No, really... have you seen the ticket prices? Yikes.)  No long term commitment is necessary. In fact, not having communication before or after the concert, with the exception of one phone call under 5 minutes in length to arrange the plans for the eve of the concert, is requested. Any interested young men should send an email with the location of the concert seats along with a picture of the tickets for proof of purchase purposes.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Vote For Me!

All of this media attention that politics is getting lately keeps our nation's issues in the fore-front of my mind; especially with all of the presidential election coverage.  I've felt reminiscent of my old college politics days and whatnot.... It's got me thinking of the future.  If any woman is going to break through the glass ceiling of politics to become our nation's first female president, it's going to me ME!  And here are just a few of the qualifications that I feel make me a solid candidate for the future presidency:

I beat the entire game of Guitar Hero on medium level 6 days after I purchased it.
I can stand on my head for minutes at a time.
I know all of the members' of 'N sync's first names, last names, and birthdays (it says it on the boxes of their action figures).
I can count to 100 by prime numbers at an incredibly fast rate.
I know where Waldo is. Every book. Every page.
I have never read any of the "Twilight" books. And I never will.
I own a Lagoon season pass.
I have reached a Brain Age of 32 on my Nintendo DS.
I have talked my way out of THREE speeding tickets by either crying or playing dumb.
I once ate an entire QUAD-stacker from Burger King... and I lived to tell about it!
I can whip together a batch of Muddy Buddies in under 10 minutes.
I own over 30 hoodies.
I once attended the wrong college course for an entire semester before realizing my mistake, and still managed to get credit for the class.

After reviewing my list of qualifications, I'm sure you agree that I would make a fine candidate.  So keep me in mind.... it won't be long before you're seeing this face in the oval office!