Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Someday My Prince Will... Grow?

Being the only single sibling on Valentine's Day has its advantages. For the past few years, my sister in Nevada has sent me prize each Valentine's Day with a note to let me know that she's thinking of me. This year she went all out and sent me a Valentine's Day survival package.
The card said, "Someday Your Prince Will Come."
I told my nephews that my boyfriend came in the mail. Yes, I lied to them. But they played along with it, so I figure it's okay. Apparently they haven't seen any real prospects for a new uncle coming around lately, because they really took to the idea of this mail-order boyfriend. 
It was a frog that I had to kiss and then soak in water to watch him turn into a prince.
And over the course of 72 hours he would grow.
Even Miss A got in on the excitement.
The irony of the whole situation is that is was supposed to be simple; 
The instructions said that within minutes, the frog should start to transform into a prince. After about 10 minutes of waiting, a loving family member joked 
that I probably didn't read the instructions correctly, just like my real dating life. 
Well, it's true. I missed a step (just like in my real dating life- or at least it feels that way.) 
Once I figured out what I was doing wrong, the frog began to turn into a prince.
And over the course of the next 72 hours, he reached the height of four inches. 
Which is also ironic because that's the average height of the boys I date. 
Wow! There are so many parallels I could draw from this experiment. 
But I won't because they'll all be of a mocking, sarcastic nature. 

I would post a picture of the final product, but my story isn't finished yet. 
I have yet to find the frog that I think is a prince. 
As soon as I do, I will post a picture of the actual frog-turned-prince. 
But don't hold your breath... 
who knows if blogging will still be the trend by the time this happens.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

This Girl Knows How to Throw a Party!

It was my friend Michelle's 25th birthday yesterday. She threw a great party. But not just any party... a MUSTACHE-themed party! Why the heck not?

May you always be able to grow a mustache 
when the need arises!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Puffy Eyes

I'm having a hard time concentrating at work today... which is why I'm posting this. I'm convinced that I'll get this out of my mind and be able to move on.

I have very red and puffy eyes today, with dark circles to accompany the puffiness. There are few times in my life that I can ever remember sobbing. I did last night. I have a dear friend from my ward who wrote me to tell me that they no longer believe in things that they have believed in their whole life. They have chosen to give up a lifestyle and system of beliefs that have been central to their life for 27 years. I happen to share the same lifestyle and system of beliefs. I know how much it means to me... and how much it had meant to this person. My heart hurts for this person. 

Monday, February 16, 2009

Buggy Buggerson

I have been tagged by my friend and co-worker, Natalie. Here are 10 things that BUG me:

1. Early morning chatters
2. Slow drivers in the passing lane
3. Email forwards that aren't side-splittingly funny (So, most of them)
4. Missed calls with no voicemail (Do I call back or not?!?)
5. Talks in Sacrament Meeting that go overtime
6. PowerPoints in a Sunday School lesson (C'mon, is it really that necessary?)
7. When people who I've just met call me by a nickname (That is a right to be earned)
8. People who smile and talk to you, even though you know they don't like you (Just don't talk to me at all- I'm totally cool with that)
9. Clingy people
10. When friends start saying or doing things that I usually say or do (I know this is caddy, but it feels like they're sucking energy from my personality- Imitation is not the most sincere form of flattery. Be yourself.)
11. I know it's only supposed to be ten, but after I finished, I thought of something that trumps all the others: The incorrect use of the apostrophe ('). Use it for possessive plurals, not just plurals.
Correct Example: That is the cat's ball of yarn.
Incorrect example: There are three cat's in the front yard.

Marcie, Michelle A., Michelle B.,  Hollie, Lindsay and anyone else who needs to get a thing or two off their chest.

I feel much better now, thank you.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Dating Advice From the 4th Grade

Last year when I was teaching 4th grade, during a girls' lunch, I had all my decorative paper, scissors, stickers, and markers out for some project. The girls knew that another teacher at the school and I were throwing a party that weekend. They asked if they use the supplies to make signs or pictures for the party. I agreed. However, they decided to use their time creating books.... of DATING ADVICE. I just rediscovered these today and they made me laugh again. They are hilarious! Below, I have included some of the most creative or more disillusioned lists (with the actual spelling and punctuation used) for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

Rules to Get Ready For A Date

#1 Do not wear to much make up or you'll look like a clown
#2 Be your self other wise you'll get dumped on the first date
#3 Pick the best outfit that fits you 
      don't wear things that make you uncomfortable other wise the date will go horrible
#4 Before you go on your date pack some emergency backup food incase you have the food
Hope you have a blast!

What A Girl Wants In A Guy. . .
  • honesty
  • complements
  • same likings
  • Funny
  • kind
  • Great Personality
  • Strong
  • Good Looking
  • smart (not a nerd)
  • Awesome smile
  • Nice to everyone
  • Dessert, Dinner, movies, beach
Date Ideas
  • Go to a remantic movie.
  • Act like you hate your outfit & he will feal sorry for you & buy you a new outfit
  • Ask him to take you to a dance & maybe he will kiss you!!
How To Fall In Love!
1) You have to be pretty
2) Wear makeup
3) laugh, even if it is not funny
4) Go on lots of dates
5) Kiss them when you feel like it. (JK)
6) Be nice to each other
7) Smile all the time
8) At a restaurant chew with your mouth closed!!!!!!!

What NOT to do on a date
1) Don't spill your food.
2) Always smile
3) Wear your date's favorite color/style
4) Keep a conversation going
5) If you get bored, don't date again or pick a more exciting date.

Movies to watch with a boy!
1) Becoming Jane
2) Princess diaries 1 or 2
3) Never been kissed
4) How to lose a guy in 10 days
5) Aqumariene
I hope you like eachother!!!

How to fall in love
a) Let the girl help decide on the date
b) Kiss at least 1x per date
c) Ask them on a date at least 1 week ahead of the actual date
d) Never ask them on the phone- do it face to face
For Boys

Rules To Go on A Date With Miss H
  • Make sure you wear a green tie
  • Shes really picky so get her the right food.
  • never talk about boy stuff.
  • Talk about how beautiful she is.
  • never ever eat while talking.
  • your hair has to be right
  • smile dont frown
  • Make her laugh
  • Give her chocolate
have my teacher married by the end of the year!

May you all find LOVE (of some kind) this Valentine's Day!!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Not My Boyfriend

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I have decided to compose a post on dating. Well, kind of. I have been questioned by a lot of people about my dating life lately. So, to answer your questions, the following boys are NOT my boyfriend.

Here's to being one of the guys!
(and most likely alone for the rest of my life)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Monday, February 2, 2009

It Could Be Worse

This is a very timely post. I had actually drafted this post last week and intended on posting it tonight. Today at work, some of my co-workers and friends were laid off. This post is not in relation to that event.

From 1935–1944, the Farm Security Administration (FSA)-Office of War Information (OWI) took on an extensive U.S. government photography project. This project was a pictorial record of American life during these years. In total, the collection consists of approximately 171,000 black-and-white film negatives, 107,000 black-and-white photographic prints, and 1,610 color transparencies. I had never heard about this collection until I was doing research for work a couple months ago. I felt like I had won the lottery once I discovered the photos available from the Library of Congress Web site. I spent hours perusing the images. Below are some of the most famous images that were photographed by Dorthea Lange. I know you'll recognize the first photo. Last week as I was thinking about friends and loved ones who are going through difficult financial times, the image of this mother's face kept coming to my mind. It could be worse...
Caption: Destitute peapickers in California; 
a 32 year old mother of seven children. February 1936.
Mother's name: Florence Owens Thompson
Caption: These people had just sold their tent in order to buy food. 
Most of the 2,500 people in this camp were destitute.

In 1960, Lange gave this account of her experience:

I saw and approached the hungry and desperate mother, as if drawn by a magnet. I do not remember how I explained my presence of my camera to her, but I do remember she asked me no questions. I made five exposures, working closer and closer from the same direction. I did not ask her name or her history. She told me her age, that she was thirty-two. She said that they had been living on frozen vegetables from the surrounding fields, and birds that the children killed. She had just sold the tires from her car to buy food. There she sat in that lean-to tent with her children huddled around her, and seemed to know that my pictures might help her, and so she helped me. There was a sort of equality about it.